


Open Arms

by fragilespark



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-24 15:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 37,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fragilespark/pseuds/fragilespark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Timeshift/AU: Carver and Bethany are the ones to escape the Blight, and their paths cross with Fenris and Sebastian on their way to Starkhaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
"They're not letting anyone into the city." 

Aveline was right. The dock was crowded, just as the hold had been. 

"There'll be more ships," Carver grumbled, "we'll just have to move on to the next place." 

"But Kirkwall is where uncle is!" Bethany protested, "we should at least try." 

"What does it matter now! Nobody cares who we are. Not without Mother-" 

Bethany put her face in her hands. "Don't," she choked, "I can't." 

"You have the connection here, Carver, we're not starting from nothing. Listen to your sister." 

"I've had it with living on scraps! We can't go back, and I'm not making a home in this filthy slum of a city. Look at it! Look at the smoke!" 

Bethany was sobbing now. "Carver, stop." 

Aveline faced off with him. "We're all grieving. Now we're going to take it one day at a time. We need food, and rest. And the sooner we speak to a guard, the sooner we'll figure out our next steps." She walked towards one, and he let her. 

Carver put an arm around Bethany as people pushed past both of them. Their mabari whined, butting at his heels. 

None of this was supposed to happen. 

Garrett was never supposed to _fall_. He was never, ever supposed to die. He was always the strongest, always the last one standing. That thing, that ogre, there was nothing anyone could do against such a monster. It could take down a King as easily as it took down a farmhand, and the only way to survive was to run. 

"We'll ask for him," Carver said, pressing his lips against Bethany's hair, "but we can't count on his help. He doesn't know us." 

  
Gamlen was not as suspicious of them as Carver was of him, but his offer of a year of work was more than enough to reignite Carver's temper. 

"Three days we've been waiting for this? It's not worth it just to get into the city!" 

"Fine," Gamlen sneered, "see if a refugee like you gets a better offer anywhere else." 

"I'll take it," said Aveline, "I have no other option. Bethany?" 

Bethany looked sadly at her. "...I cannot leave my brother." 

"And what of him? Why should he not follow you?" 

Bethany stood a little straighter and considered this. "I think... we should try another city. We can come back and visit when things have calmed down." 

Carver himself calmed down, and said nothing at Bethany's diplomatic farewells. 

  
Their first meeting with a Tranquil had shaken Bethany so much he was tempted to contact Gamlen again just to get her out of there. A Circle. A bloody Circle as a port. 

He hated this city. 

They sat in the shade, Rebel sprawled at their feet. Bethany had the idea that they would take the next ship East, as long as it was going to stop at least once more in the Free Marches. They didn't want to end up in Antiva. Carver had studied a little Thedan geography after enlisting in the King's service, but Bethany had spent years poring over a beautiful cloth map that had been a present from Father before he died. It was ashes now. 

"I must return to Starkhaven, Fenris." 

Carver's attention was caught by the unusual accent, the rolling Rs. 

"Won't it be quicker to go North?" 

"Quicker, and no doubt a greater risk to us both." The man who was speaking walked past, expensive armour gleaming in contrast to the tired refugee attire. "I need to gather more support first." 

The one called Fenris followed him, an elf with white hair. "The more people you have around you, the more attention you will draw to yourself." His bare feet had little markings on them too. 

"There must be a charter pinned up somewhere, can you see one?" 

Fenris didn't even look. "No." 

Bethany was also looking up at the two of them. They stood quite close, evidently unconcerned that their conversation could be overheard. 

Or maybe they just thought Fereldans too lowly to even pretend to notice. 

Carver had had enough. Rebel jumped up even before Carver had got to his feet. "You want on a ship, you get in line with the rest of us." They turned at the interruption. "You might have more coin, but we've been waiting longer." 

The auburn-haired man looked him up and down, but it was lacking the disdain he expected. "I'm sure there will be room for everyone, serah." His gaze went to Bethany and he smiled. Now that he did expect. 

Fenris ignored him and Carver ignored him right back. 

Bethany stood up also. "If you don't mind me asking, where are you hoping to dock?" 

"Ostwick, my lady." 

_My lady? Fuck off._

Rebel went over and sniffed at Fenris, who walked off without a word. 

Carver gave him extra pats for that. 

  
Getting on the ship took almost all the coin they had between them, but he wasn't about to admit it to anyone. He was sure they would find work in Ostwick, something which wouldn't tie them down for a year. His priority was keeping Bethany safe. 

Annoyingly, Fenris and his companion had settled near them in the hold, rather than with the other nobles. 

Carver sat himself resolutely between him and Bethany. There would be no more smooth talking if he had anything to do with it. 

He was suddenly hit by the loss, the reminder that it was just him and Bethany, alone. That Garrett wasn't going to show up out of the blue one day. That both their parents were gone. It was hard to breathe for a moment, the feeling consuming him. 

He was still stunned by it all when he realised that the Starkhaven man had shuffled closer and was offering him some bread. 

"We don't need your charity," he said, but his voice had no strength behind it, and the thought of food made his stomach rumble. 

Bethany placed a hand on Carver's arm and addressed the man. "You're very kind. Are you sure you can spare it?" 

"Of course. Besides, I wouldn't want it to go stale." 

Bethany took it, and the slice of cheese that went with it. "Thank you." 

"I wouldn't want us to be strangers if we are travelling together. My name is Sebastian. This is Fenris." 

"Bethany." 

Carver didn't want to look up, but he didn't want to ruin the trip for Bethany either. "Carver," he said, glancing up at Sebastian's handsome face, "Carver Hawke."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 prologue: 
> 
>   
>  Carver had never liked travelling. He understood the need to protect Bethany, now more than ever, but it still made him tense. On top of everything the ship's movement and the confinement was starting to make him feel a little ill. 
> 
> "Maybe we should have stayed with Uncle Gamlen." Bethany said, reaching to feel his forehead. 
> 
> He recoiled and batted her hand away. "What, you think he'd produce a bloody trust fund? We're well rid of him." 
> 
> Bethany sat back on her heels. "But he's family." 
> 
> "No, Bethany. It's just us." Carver closed his eyes, and when he felt her hand in his he squeezed it in apology.

  
"Stay." Carver said gently. 

With Bethany curled asleep and Rebel watching over her, Carver made his way to the door that would hopefully lead to a way to the deck. Barefoot. Although he could never aspire to the grace of an elf, at least he would not disturb anyone with his clumpy footfalls. 

The residual scent from the cooking on board almost led him the wrong way down a corridor but he thought better of being suspected a thief. Eventually, and after being sternly sent on his way by one of the staff on the upper decks, he sat himself on a small bench near the back of the ship, breathing the fresh air. 

It was not as cold as he'd expected. Growing up in Ferelden he knew that the clearest nights were the coldest; yet he was looking up at the stars and felt nothing but a balmy breeze on his skin. 

He would have to bring Bethany up here, but for now Carver let the night soothe him and slowly he felt a little more like himself. 

The creak of the ship, which had seemed so oppressive, now provided a comforting anchor to the massive, silent surroundings. Carver could hear the _shhh_ of the water below and thought of Mother, and Garrett, and swore he would make things right. He followed his thoughts deeper and deeper, sinking into a jumble of memory and fantasy that was not quite home. 

He became so used to the rock and flow of movement that when he heard a sound incongrous to it, his eyes opened instantly and he turned to see Sebastian standing there, intruding on his contemplation. 

"Hello. I didn't mean to startle you." 

Carver sat up. "No." He breathed deeply and let out a long sigh. 

"May I join you?" 

He eyed him. Not so prominent without his armour or his companion, but still tall and attractive. If he was here then at least he and Bethany couldn't make eyes at each other as a distraction for lack of sleep. Carver shrugged. 

Sebastian sat next to him, and said nothing, staring out into the dark. 

At first Carver ignored him, glad that he was not forced into awkward conversation, but at length he began shifting where he sat. Patience was not among his strongest traits. He looked over and studied Sebastian's profile. "You can't sleep, then?" 

"Hmmm. I often wake early. And when I do, I pray." Sebastian looked over, and gave Carver a smile. "I was doing it quietly, for your sake." 

_Pray. Right._ Carver was hit by his own raw doubts about faith and was not sure he could enter into a conversation about it the moment. "Well, uh... thanks." He rolled his shoulders a bit before considering standing. "I should go." 

"I did rather disturb your peace." The smile was still on Sebastian's face. 

_Yes, you did._ "So did I." 

"Not at all." 

  
In the end, Bethany never got to sit on the deck. They arrived at Ostwick and when they stepped onto shore the port was bathed in the light of the sunrise. 

"Feeling better?" She asked, giving his arm a squeeze. 

Carver had got over his seasickness but it was still good to be on solid ground again. "I could do with some breakfast." 

Rebel whined on cue. 

Bethany crouched by him and gave him a light scrub behind the ear. "We'll get you something, don't worry." 

Carver surveyed the port, trying to think ahead and figure out how exactly they were going to get by with no contacts and barely any money. He could fill in for any manual labour, easily, and Bethany was probably ahead of him with some ideas of her own. Docks seemed to be ideal for work and he had a much better feeling about this place than he had about Kirkwall. Still, every refugee that landed here would have a similar plan. They would have to act quickly. 

They walked on past the smell of fresh fish and then the smell of fried fish until Bethany spotted a meat stall where they could sit outside and not worry about whether a mabari would be welcome. Carver paid and before he could appreciate the freshness of the ingredients in the wrap he spied Sebastian and Fenris coming towards them. Had they followed? Or was it simply coincidence? 

"I hate fish," was Fenris' only response to his accusing look. Carver was surprised to get anything out of the elf at all. 

Bethany pulled a strip of what was supposedly chicken and fed it to Rebel. 

"He's big," Sebastian said, sitting nearby with his own purchase, "he must eat a lot, being a war hound." 

"He ate more as a puppy. We thought he'd never stop." 

Sebastian laughed. "I can believe that." 

Carver tried to stuff his face in a more dignified manner to avoid any comparisons. He eyed Fenris' sword and the way his lithe frame seemed to both buckle under the weight and be unaffected by it. He was the only one to remain standing, and his posture seemed to tell a story that Carver could not work out. 

Bethany continued the conversation. "Are you carrying on to Starkhaven now?" 

Fenris shot her a look. 

"How did you- oh, you heard." Sebastian shook his head. "Not for a long while. I have... things to do here." 

Carver stood up. "It's a long day for all of us then." He didn't know how to take his leave, but he didn't want to allude to any more cosy meetings. "Bethany, are you ready?" 

"Mmmhmm." She nodded with her last bite of food and gave the rest to Rebel. 

"Farewell, my lady." Sebastian nodded. "Carver." 

Carver started walking back down the slope, feeling the smear of heat from his cheekbones to his ears. Sebastian's easy familiarity with him was something he was not yet prepared for. Death. Struggle. Survival. It was hard enough putting one foot in front of the other without having to wonder about a random stranger's motives. Not that it mattered anyway - it was probably best to avoid a devout Andrastian, for Bethany's sake. How quickly could the charm turn to censure? Carver didn't want to know. As for Fenris, he seemed to want nothing to do with them anyway, so there was no loss on either side. 

Rebel bounded to his side and Carver was glad to see him full of spirit. "That's right, boy. We made it. Good boy." 

It was Bethany who suggested they split up, and after coaxing Rebel to go with her, Carver headed straight for the men who were getting ready to unload the next ship in. If he had to work for free to start with so be it. Someone would have to see his worth. 

  
The midday sun was unbroken by cloud and Carver slumped in the shade of the small fish market, now that the morning's activity was over. Nobody had cared who he actually worked for, but unfortunately that meant that nobody paid him for his trouble. He did get fed, however, and the watered down ale the workers passed around was the perfect relief for the thirsty work. 

When Bethany and Rebel found him, he managed a smile. The day hadn't been terrible after all, and he hoped for good news. 

"You look spent." She said, eyeing him up and down. 

Carver petted Rebel. "You look as if you've been working hard yourself. Did you find anything?" 

"Yes and no." Bethany said, sitting down. She made a face. "Is that smell you or the dead fish?" 

Carver scoffed. "Shut up and tell me." 

"I didn't find work, but all the running around did get me some information. I think I have us a place to stay. And the second time I went to the inn, someone had left a notice asking for 'able-bodied fighters and supporters of a noble cause' to show their skills tomorrow. Apparently, if you're recruited, you could get a small reward." 

"Hm. We'll see about noble causes. Hopefully it's not some Marcher thinking he can take on the Blight with a couple of tavern brawlers. I'm not going back," the words spilled out of him before he could control them, "not for all the money in the world. They couldn't drag me back. I've- I can't-" 

Bethany rested her cheek lightly on Carver's sunburnt shoulder. "We'll make it out here. You'll be the best of them." 

_Yet you could beat us all._


	3. Chapter 3

  
"I wonder how Aveline is doing." Bethany said from the other bed. 

"She'll be alright. She can look after herself." 

"She must be lonely." 

Carver thought of the dead they had left behind. He couldn't really remember her husband's name any more. Carver curled on his side, unable to see Bethany in the dark. He could only hear Rebel's soft breathing. That he had been allowed in must have been Bethany's doing, since most people had turned their noses up at him. "The Blight has caused so much loss. No wonder people fear it." 

"How's your wound?" 

"It's fine." Carver ran his fingers along his side where the darkspawn blade had cut into him. The scab had almost healed now and it didn't cause him too much trouble. "Do you think..." 

"What?" 

"The Grey Wardens. More will come, right? They'll defeat the Blight." 

"I hope so. It's what they do." 

It seemed such an impossible task. Carver's blade had cut through so many, yet the swarm was so endless he wasn't sure that they could have made it even with Loghain's troops. Were they the smart ones after all? The anger and guilt inside Carver wouldn't go away. He was no coward, but... 

"We should sleep. Night, Carver." 

Carver stared into the black. The hard work and the lack of sleep the previous night should have ensured a swift slip into slumber but it didn't happen. He rubbed his palm over his face and hair. He needed a bath. Clutching the thin bedding with one hand, he dropped the other hand over the edge of the bed and beckoned Rebel softly. The mabari was alert and went to his side, settling under his palm. Carver stroked the warm body, feeling the rhythm of breath and heartbeat which eventually lulled him to sleep. 

  
He woke to silence. The morning light was streaming through the gap in the curtain and he stretched. 

Bethany and Rebel were gone. 

Sitting up and trying to stave off the impending panic, he made himself breathe deeply. Everything was fine. _Why didn't she wake me?_ He pulled on his trousers. _Oh Maker, I've slept too late to help unload the fishing boats._ He dragged on his boots and looked around, making sure he had everything. 

"Bethany?" He called as soon as he was outside. 

"Carver!" Bethany called back, Rebel trotting beside her. 

Carver went towards the path she was coming from. "Where did you go? I- I was worried." 

"I didn't think the owners would appreciate Rebel leaving a present on their welcome mat." 

One day Bethany was going to say _dog shit_ out loud and Carver wouldn't bother pretending to be shocked. 

"Did you try to wake me?" 

Bethany shook her head and surprised him with a hug. "We've been through so much. And I know we have to find work but you looked so peaceful resting. Who knows when we'll get another chance to sleep in a place like that?" 

_That_ hadn't been such an extraordinary place but compared to the last week, it was all the comfort they had needed. He kissed the top of her head. "Thanks, Bethy." 

At the top of the road was the now familiar figure of a white-haired elf. 

Rebel took off at speed towards Fenris, and Bethany let go of Carver to run after him. 

Sebastian emerged from the doorway next to Carver before he could give chase. "Good morning." He looked at the pair running up the hill. "I think your hound has taken a liking to him." 

"Do you actually know anything about mabari?" 

"Only that they are a highly intelligent breed, and are quite the status symbol among Fereldans, as I understand. I was wondering-" 

"Is that why you keep talking to us? Because you think we're somehow important? Look at us! We have nothing!" 

Sebastian raised his hands. "I... I have no ulterior motive, I assure you." 

Carver huffed. He could feel the childish pout on his face and he turned away to see Fenris and Bethany were talking. Fenris was _talking_. He was already used to Bethany and Garrett being the likeable ones, so it was no surprise, but it still stung a tiny bit each time. 

"You're very protective of her, aren't you?" 

"She's my twin sister, of course I am." The alarm shot up through Carver's body like a shiver. Did he suspect she was a mage? His gaze flicked down to the belt buckle Sebastian wore. Andraste. "Well, I won't keep you any more." Carver strode away from him without a further word. 

Rebel nudged Fenris' hand for a pat which the elf offered briefly. 

Bethany smiled, and Carver couldn't resent Fenris completely. If he hadn't been so rattled by Sebastian he might have asked if Fenris was going to attend the tryout. He longed to see how Fenris wielded his blade. However, he was probably too busy helping Sebastian with whatever mission they were on. They did make for an intriguing pair, although Fenris was the most fascinating of the two from his looks and demeanour. 

"What's he all about, then?" Carver asked once they were out of earshot. 

"I have no idea. He seems to know a lot. He started talking about how Rebel's ancestors were smart enough to turn against the Tevinter invasion." 

"The mages." 

Bethany looked a bit doubtful. "I suppose. But it was more because they were-" 

"Just watch out for them." Carver warned in a low tone. "Don't let them know what you are. I'm not convinced they'd be so friendly towards us." 

  
The day was a frustrating one, with the only money passing through their hands to pay for their meals. Carver abandoned everything else to think ahead to the call for fighters. They made their way to the site early, and Carver started practising his swordwork. The sky had clouded over and by the time the Chantry bells rang there were a few other men and women gathered by the farm, although only a couple were armed. 

He turned to see Fenris watching him. So he had come. He gave a curt nod and sheathed his blade. He would have plenty of opportunity to use it soon. The sight of Sebastian nearby wasn't completely unexpected - where one went the other did too, and he did carry a bow after all. 

Maybe Bethany could join them too - if whoever it was who called them here thought a mabari valuable in battle - she could be employed as a mabari handler. Carver would have to tell her what he knew from the army. 

Sebastian strolled around, and Carver just imagined him nosing about. Who was he? He obviously didn't need the coin. Did the Chantry send him? The fact he was accompanied by Fenris made Carver doubt that. He just couldn't figure him out. 

_What is he doing?_

Sebastian dragged one of the crates from its pile and stood on top of it. 

"Hello, everyone, thank you for coming. My name is Sebastian Vael, and I'm leading an army to Starkhaven." 

"Starkhaven?" 

"That's too far!" 

"Why should we care?" 

"Now, I know you have questions, and I'll address them with those who wish to sign up..." 

"When do we get paid?" 

"He's lying! The Vael family was killed!" 

"That's why I-" 

"Enough!" Fenris cried, pulling out his blade. "Is there anyone here who is willing to fight?" 

Carver didn't know what was going on, but he did have an answer to that question, the sound of steel ringing as Fenris parried his blade.


	4. Chapter 4

  
The ground was solid, and allowed Carver to get a decent footing. Fenris' attacks were powerful and Carver wondered at the strength that coursed through the slim body. He was glad to be fighting Fenris, although he had no idea if it was reciprocrated. All he knew was that his body stepped in to do the talking even if his mind had doubts. 

_Just let me prove myself._

Fenris stepped back, with a slightly breathless "good". 

Carver became aware of his audience again and he wiped his mouth as he panted, his gaze meeting Sebastian's approving one. He turned away to return to Bethany's side. Rebel barked and wagged his tail, obviously pleased that this was merely a training situation. Carver couldn't help but notice that even the people who had protested had lingered to watch, and he kept his attention on Bethany so that they could be ignored again. 

"I think you should go ahead and show them what Rebel can do." 

"You really think I should have him charge at Fenris?" 

"Oh, come on, he knows not to start maiming anyone." Carver scritched the mabari's head. "Don't you, boy?" 

One of the other townspeople had started fighting now, so Bethany kept quiet. A few of the others did leave after all, and like it or not Carver and Bethany would have to talk to Sebastian and find out exactly what they would be signing up for. They had no particular ties to Ostwick but being on the road again unnecessarily, and to fight - an environment like that made it more likely Bethany would be discovered, if anything because her healing skill would be needed. 

Carver had to loan his sword to one of the farmers, who wielded it with unexpected skill. Sebastian called the man over afterwards but they were interrupted by a woman who demanded hand-to-hand combat. Fenris went to one side to put his blade down but Sebastian rested his bow on the crate and went to the centre of the vague ring they had formed. Fenris hurried towards him and looked to be trying to dissuade him in hushed tones but Sebastian shook his head. 

"...not a... fighting for me..." was all Carver could make out. 

"But..." Fenris gestured, "...arm..." 

"Look... hindrance... think." 

"...bastian, I'll fight for you." Fenris had raised his voice. "I'll do this." 

"If you're that worried about the armour, I'll take it off. It'll be fairer." 

"We are looking for their skill, not yours!" 

"Fenris." Sebastian placed a hand on the elf's shoulder. 

Fenris leaned in close and whispered something in his ear. Carver's pulse went racing. 

Sebastian shook his head and murmured something that looked like "follow". He glanced over and caught Carver's stare. "Don't suppose you'd like to help us settle this?" 

Before he could answer, the woman shouted across at them. "Forget it! It's not worth it." She marched away and one of the others followed. 

Sebastian raked his fingers through his hair and looked around to the remaining person - a young woman, younger than Bethany. "You there. Do you have a weapon?" 

She nodded and held out two daggers. 

Fenris backed off and Sebastian invited her to fight him. She ran forward and Carver assumed from her appearance that her skills were borne of street smarts and petty thievery. She was nimble, but so was Sebastian, surprisingly so. Sebastian produced a dagger of his own to fend her off and after a few close calls on both sides he stepped back, satisfied. "Thank you. Come over here and give me your name." They walked off towards the other man and Fenris gave them a look, beckoning them to follow also. 

"Oh, we're not done yet." Bethany said. She whistled, and it was one hell of a whistle, as everyone turned to look. Rebel sprang forward, held taut in attention. 

Fenris walked slowly to the centre of the space, not even looking at Sebastian. He was taking this fight. 

"Go on, Rebel, get him." She snapped her fingers as she pointed at Fenris, and Rebel charged at him. 

Fenris took on a defensive stance and readied the flat of his blade to meet Rebel's first strike. He leapt to Rebel's side and tried to flank him but Rebel snapped at his heels. Fenris wisely put some distance between them, wary of the mabari. 

He was doing well if this was his first time. 

Rebel barked loudly as he leapt at Fenris and the elf kept his core low to avoid getting knocked over as he dodged. Teeth and fangs went straight at him and he whacked his blade onto Rebel's collar to narrowly avert the attack. Rebel's growl was vicious and Fenris snarled right back, never taking his eyes off him. 

He was incredible. 

Fenris managed to smack Rebel in the face and the mabari lunged at his leg with the speed of a snakebite, his jaws around the elf's shin. 

The spectators gasped in horror and Fenris slowly let his blade fall to the ground in defeat. Rebel let go of him and wagged his tail, panting. Fenris crouched eye-to-eye with the mabari and rubbed his leg but Carver knew he wouldn't have suffered anything beyond a few teeth marks. 

Bethany made her way to them and Carver followed. She petted Rebel, checking he was okay, and Carver offered Fenris a hand. 

"Thank you." Fenris said, standing, and Carver had a feeling he meant for the fight as well. 

"He's not made you bleed, has he?" 

"No." Fenris picked up his blade. "In fact he's probably used to thicker legs than mine. He's well trained. I apologise if I've hurt him." 

Bethany looked up. "He's fine. He's been knocked about worse before. Thank you for asking." 

"That was remarkable." Sebastian said when they reached him. "Why don't we find a place to sit down, and I'll tell you everything you need to know." 

  
With a promise that they would give their answer by the end of the following day, Carver and Bethany went to the docks to get some food and watch the sun go down. Their heads were full of the information Sebastian had provided and it was still not an easy decision. After the other two people had left, Sebastian asked if they would consider accompanying him and Fenris for the duration of the journey, not just once they were called to arms. There was a promise of some lodging along the way, either from Sebastian's acquaintances or shared with the money they earned, as well as a significant recompense once Sebastian had reclaimed his title and estate. 

"I don't think I can keep it a secret," Bethany said, swinging her legs over the edge of the pier, "if I tell them first at least I won't be a liar as well." 

"Tell them? Are you- what are you thinking? You can't!" 

"If they don't like it, they don't have to take us." 

"No, but they can tell the Templars. You heard him. He's a Chantry Brother." 

"Was. Doesn't make him a mage hunter. He has other priorities." 

"That's if he's telling the truth. If so, he's got enough problems without having to worry about harbouring an apostate." 

Bethany gave him a look. "That's why I want to give him a choice. Whether he wants to or not." 

Carver stared out over the fading reflections. "We could go with them for a while. Try to find out how they might react." 

"Carver." 

"We've made it this far. We don't need to tell them." 

"If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have to worry. I'm willing to take that risk. If we find someone who needs us, who doesn't care... isn't that better?" 

Carver could almost hear the _What do we have to lose?_ But to him, it was everything. _Our freedom. Each other. A chance at safety._ He stared into the water under his feet. "It's your choice, Bethany. If anyone has a problem, they'll have to go through me."


	5. Chapter 5

  
Carver dreamed he was back in Lothering. 

The town was pale, as if a little bit of colour had been drained from each plant, each house. He could see people - working, talking - but he couldn't call out to them, and nobody noticed him. 

He didn't know if he was the ghost, or they were. 

The house was behind him. The Hawke house. It didn't occur to him to turn around, or look for his family. He was aware of only one thing, creeping behind him, with the knowledge that something terrible would happen if he moved or tried to warn anyone. So he just stood there, and the colour bled over his skin from behind, shocking black and red until he was dripping with the Blight and from his hands the whole town fell into darkness. 

" _Carver!_ " 

He gasped and cool hands were on his face and his shoulder. Bethany's. She was there and although he recognised her form, his body was slow to obey his waking state and he could not move his tensed limbs. 

"It's okay. It's okay now." 

The feel of her petting his hair, the flickering of the candle on the wall, they started to ground him in the present and as he exhaled slowly his muscles started letting go. Carver's eyes fluttered shut as he remembered the inn, the dock, the sparring of the previous day. With a soft grunt he clenched his fists and then bent his knees to ease some of the discomfort in his back. "What time is it?" 

"It's almost dawn." 

He sighed. Hearing Rebel's light whine, he turned onto his side to reach for him and scruff his short fur. 

Bethany went back to her bed and snuggled under the blanket. "Do you want me to leave the candle burning?" 

"I'll put it out in a bit." Carver got up to have a stretch and walk over to the window. There was not much of the town to be seen from there, only the building opposite. They could have been anywhere. It was better to have a goal than to be an aimless wanderer. Bethany's choice would lead to three possible outcomes: Acceptance, and travelling to Starkhaven; Rejection, and attempting to build a life in Ostwick; and the forced discovery that might come with rejection, meaning escape and complete unknown. 

Rebel butted his leg and Carver checked he had water in his bowl before shushing him. 

"Rest, now." Carver returned to the candle and blew it out before feeling his way back under the covers. The thought of counting on Sebastian and Fenris for company gave him comfort and after a while he drifted off to sleep again. 

  
Carver had initially found Fenris rather sharp: his spiky armour, choppy hair and pointed ears, along with his anti-social attitude. Now, in the curve of his back, the smile on his lips, and the sunlight in his hair, all he saw was softness. He was smiling because Rebel had deemed him fit to receive a treat - a sprig of elfroot ripped from the ground, roots still hanging - which Fenris didn't seem to mind at all. 

Fenris cast his gaze up to Bethany. "Did you train him to find these?" 

"Yes. They're useful for potions, as you can imagine." 

"Sebastian knows a little. He has tried explaining, but I have not applied myself. Perhaps you can show me more?" He gestured at the dusty road on the outskirts of town. If they were to travel soon, it would come in useful. 

"Of course." Bethany glanced at Carver and then back at the others. "It... brings me to something I want to say. To both of you." 

Sebastian looked up. "Yes?" 

Bethany lifted her heels a little and then set them back down, shifting her weight. "I want you to know that there is something that might make you leave us behind, and I- we understand if it does." She had their attention. "The healing. I can offer more than potions. And more than a mabari, for that matter. Because... I am a mage." 

Fenris' eyes narrowed, but Sebastian's expression didn't waver. 

"You were kind enough to give us some time to think, so we can do the same." She seemed breathless, as if the confession had spent her energy. "No matter what you decide, please don't tell anyone. We just escaped the Blight. We have nothing. Please don't make us desperate." 

Sebastian stood. "Wouldn't dream of it." He walked a few paces away, inviting Fenris to follow. 

Fenris murmured at him, although it was still audible. "So you've already decided this doesn't change anything?" 

Carver held his arm out to Bethany and she went to him and hugged his side. "You okay?" 

"I'd rather they told me all their fears and suspicions rather than pretend it's okay and then turn me over to the Templars because they can't handle it any more." 

"They'll have a fight on their hands." 

"I don't want you to have to-" 

"I meant you." Carver looked at her. "You're amazing. I'm just... moral support. With a big sword." 

Bethany shook her head and let go slowly. "You've not exactly admired our magic before." 

"I ran when you ran. It's all I knew. I hated it sometimes. I didn't really understand everything, and I'm still scared of it. But... we've lost our family. And we can't go back. So how do we go forward? I can't be the same as before." 

Fenris and Sebastian had stopped talking. They were listening. 

Bethany turned to them. "If there is anything you want to know, please ask." 

Sebastian smiled. "There will be plenty of time for that on the road." 

"What?" Carver frowned, although it was the best outcome. "You're... taking us?" 

"You join us of your own free will. We have already invited you. What you have said does not in itself change this." 

Carver looked over. "Fenris?" He wanted to know his opinion, good or bad. It was rude to assume he deferred to Sebastian. 

"Your offer of help will always be valued. A mage can be helpful in the short term. A desperate mage, however, can do many things in the name of survival." 

"So you're trying to save me from myself." Bethany said. 

"I leave that to you, since you will not go to the Templars." 

Option four. The one that wasn't an option. 

"I suppose that means you're rethinking those lessons." 

"Not at all. I have much to learn. And I appreciate that you told us. You did not do it to boast, or threaten." 

"Father always said 'Magic will serve that which is best in me'. He was an apostate too. And a good man." 

"It was a wise thing to say," Sebastian said, "he taught you well, at least." 

Standing, unmoving, Carver's mind flashed back to his nightmare. He looked up at the sky. There was little wind; the weather would not change unexpectedly. "Let's move, then." 

He was tired of circumstance dictating when he should run and when he should rest. He wanted to take the first step himself.


	6. Chapter 6

  
"A couple of farmers and a thief? Is that really all you're taking from a city like Ostwick? I expected better." 

"Relax, Fenris. They will rally. The nobles will plan carefully and word will spread. I do not intend to test every fighter myself, but if we can encourage any of the common folk while we pass through... every extra pair of hands will count. It has been a while since I visited, but I am more confident now than I was then." 

It was comforting to know that Fenris' bristling wasn't entirely because of Bethany. Carver admired Sebastian's way of soothing away his doubts and wondered if anything would ever ruffle him, or if it was merely a well-practised front. 

Carver had doubts of his own. "Are we going to take a cart at some point, or are we travelling the length of the Free Marches on foot?" 

Sebastian chuckled. "Fear not, Master Hawke. When we tire, we can make a rest stop and if we are luckly, someone will pass by with room for us. There are villages and farms, and merchants going from city to city; I don't believe our journey will be difficult." 

"Unless bandits attack us." Fenris muttered. 

"Then we can steal their horses." Sebastian said cheerfully. 

Carver was sure Fenris did not fear bandits, and Sebastian worried even less about them, or food or shelter for that matter. He studied him from behind; he carried a lot of things with him in his belt but seemed to trust they would come across everything else they needed on the way. 

Bethany walked quietly beside Carver and linked arms with him. Growing up, it was something he had always associated with her wanting to tell him something secret, so he gave her his full attention. 

"Before we set off," she said in a hushed tone, "I heard him praying. He prayed for us as well." 

"Hm." 

"I don't think he knew I heard. I think he does mean well for us. He wouldn't give me up." 

"He can't reason with everyone. Do you think he'd fight for you if he couldn't get his way with words alone? He has too much to risk." 

"I don't know. But I feel safer knowing he'll do his best." 

Carver glanced at Fenris. They remained mute about him, as if speculation itself would be enough to drive him one way or the other. 

  
They stopped for the night at one of the estates clustered around a village of sorts. Its halfway point between Ostwick and Markham to the North meant that the residents had found themselves catering to many a traveller over the years. The journey between the two cities was possible in a day if fast enough and prepared to arrive well into the night, but most people found it easier to spend the night at some point along the way. 

Sebastian paid and the four of them were housed in a partition of a barn, which given the surprisingly pleasant smell, had not been used for animals for some time. It wouldn't have bothered Carver. He had taken plenty of naps in the hay back in Lothering, a habit that increased once Rebel came along. Energetic as they both were, once tired of work and play they would curl up in the warm for a few minutes. Sometimes Bethany found them and joined them and they would wake to the sound of Leandra calling their names. 

Rebel always nestled against whoever was nearest the door, his protective instinct deeply ingrained. Carver rubbed his flank and settled down, Bethany behind him. Sebastian and Fenris, while not as familiarly close - it wasn't cold after all - were a distinctly separate unit to the Hawkes, despite the small space. 

  
Breakfast was a simple but nourishing affair - cold bread-and-butter pudding, made the day before. A clever way for leftover bread to be used for the travellers without it getting too stale. 

Rebel busied himself around Fenris for a while, sniffing him out, trotting beside him and getting to know the elf's behaviour. 

Bethany watched them. "Maybe I've been thinking about this the wrong way." 

"Hn? What do you mean." 

"It's less about them protecting me, and more about me protecting _them_." 

"Well I'm not sure about-" 

"Carver, we're helping them. He wants fighters, bodyguards, supporters... I want to learn more about him, and his cause. And Fenris too. So I can do my best. And in return, we're part of a team. We're looked after." 

Carver thought bitterly back to Ostagar. "That's what it's like, in an ideal world. Loyalty. Camaraderie. It's not a given." 

"No, but it is given." 

He left that thought as it was. "Do you want to go back to Ferelden? Once the Blight's over?" 

"I'd like to see it, but... we'd start again, from nothing." 

Bethany was right. Whatever friendship they might have with Starkhaven royalty wouldn't count for much when they were no-one in a Blight-ravaged land. The scraps of the Amell line, with nobody except Gamlen to know it. Carver couldn't remember any of their other relatives. He was a Hawke, and though he didn't know what that meant to anyone else, it was something that he carried with him when everything else was taken away. Maybe the Hawke name would thrive in the Free Marches one day, but he missed Ferelden. He missed home. 

  
They reached a Markham outpost and paused for a while. Fenris leaned against a shaded wall and Bethany went with Rebel to get water. Sebastian beckoned him over. 

"Sit with me, Carver. I'd like to ask you something." 

Carver rested on the wooden bench and stretched his legs out. "What is it?" 

"If we do more recruiting, would you like to be the one doing the tryouts?" 

Carver frowned in the sunlight. "You mean instead of Fenris?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"I think... he might be intimidating people. And they will be fighting opponents very different from him. He's very skilled, incredibly so, perhaps too good for-" 

"For getting his hands dirty? And I'm not as good. Let the second-rate guy do the hard work." 

"That's not what I-" 

"It's fine. I'll do it." Carver stood, and his wrist was gripped in Sebastian's gloved hand. 

"Carver." 

He didn't look at Sebastian. His pride wanted him to rip his arm from the hold and stalk off to fume in private. It was all he could do to bite back with more indignant words. 

"Carver," Sebastian said, more softly, "I think you're a talented warrior. I need someone like you to face off the best of the competition, because you're far and above anyone else I've seen." 

"Here we go. The smooth talk. You've already got your way, let it go." 

Sebastian stood, still clutching the top of his hand. "Look at me and I'll tell you about Fenris." 

"I don't need to know." 

"You might find that you do. You haven't seen what he's capable of." 

Carver wanted the mortification to be over. He shot him a glare. "Well, go on then." 

"His markings are made of lyrium. When he's fighting to kill, he is able to... rip through a person." 

"Lyrium..." Carver thought he knew enough of it that it couldn't be touched, let alone set on someone's skin permanently. "How is he not dead? Or mad?" 

"That I don't know. But the people that did it to him are hunting him. And while he does not wish to hide, I imagine that slavers will do anything to catch or kill him - including take advantage of a practice session." 

The resistance in Carver's arm weakened as the words sank in. 

"You understand. Our situation is not so different." Sebastian let go of his hand. "Asking you was both a compliment and a precaution. Will you help us?" 

Carver turned to face him. "I will."


	7. Chapter 7

Carver’s daydreams as a child had always been for times and places that were so far away - when he was as big as Daddy, when he could be a soldier, when he could discover what was beyond the mountains - but now his thoughts were always immediate, to Fenris and to what Sebastian wanted of him.

Bethany had been right. They weren't just there to support themselves, or simply lend a hand. Fenris, and Sebastian, needed protection. The four of them were moving as a unit now.

It was a tentative thought, that he could be valued for his contribution. In Ostagar it had felt like so little and it had ended with him running for his life from the horrors.

He'd been moving, always moving. Always chased. He rubbed his face. It would be nice to stop.

"Everything alright?" Sebastian said.

"Yes." He avoided Sebastian's gaze and instead looked up at the city of Markham as they approached. It had a more pleasant air than Kirkwall, or even Ostwick, although it didn't look quite as large. Up on the sloping hills and framed by a taller ridge of mountains, Carver regarded it as a kind of gateway to safety from the Blight, from their ordeal. He was inexplicably looking forward to their stay, though he had barely heard of the place before. It might have been partly because Sebastian already knew the place. They weren't running blindly into the unknown, at least.

"What's that big building up there?" Bethany asked. "Is it the chantry?"

"No, it's the university. The chantry is a little lower down," they passed through the gate, "there. And that castle is where the Arl resides."

"Don't tell me you know him." Carver said, deadpan.

Sebastian turned and smiled. "I met him once or twice."

He scoffed. "Don't give me that. You remember."

"I met a lot of nobles when I was younger, Master Hawke. I never paid as much attention as I should have. And my departure to the Chantry meant that I did not make as many connections as I need now. It is proving... difficult."

Bethany swept a hand under a fountain as she walked past. "Are you going to ask for an audience?"

"Yes."

"Well, good luck." She shook the droplets from her hand. Rebel nuzzled her hand and licked it, making her giggle.

Fenris said little, walking behind Bethany. Carver looked over at him. He was frustratingly hard to read, but apart from that, Carver didn't mind him at all. There was something appealing about him and his manner, although it had seemed almost rude at first. He never teased Carver or made him feel any less than anyone else around, for which Carver was grateful.

 

They stopped at a friendly, bustling inn, although Sebastian seemed quite wary.

Carver found the urge to lean closer and murmur a reassuring "we're here", earning a sideways glance and a small smirk from the prince. Carver pulled back, brow furrowed and feeling rather more embarrassed than the reaction should have caused. Whatever. He was doing his job. It was probably why Fenris was so quiet. Always keeping lookout. Carver should do the same. Let Bethany chatter.

After a simple but filling meal, they left a whining Rebel in the kennel and went up to their rooms, separated by a tiny corridor with a single chair under the window. The elevated position would have a view over the path they'd taken from Ostwick. Bethany peered through the murky panes and Carver joined her, barely making out the water beyond, the strait between the Waking Sea and the Amaranthine Ocean. South West, past the mist, was Ferelden. They'd come a long way.

"We won't see this view again, when we go North." Bethany whispered.

Carver cupped his sister's elbow. "Saying goodbye?"

She nodded and remained looking out.

"Maybe we'll have a better view from the room. Or at least," he grimaced, "cleaner windows."

Their door was opposite Sebastian and Fenris' room and they walked in to mild disappointment. The room was tiny with one bed and no window, the space on this floor having been partitioned in such a way to provide more rooms. An understandable decision for an inn, but one that left them with a dingy room with little fresh air. It didn't seem like such a bargain now, although all they needed was a place to rest.

"I wonder what this was before, then."

Carver shrugged. He didn't really care.

"Poor Rebel."

Carver sat down on the bed. "He wouldn't have had room here anyway." There was barely space for him to set his boots and gauntlets on the floor by the side of the bed, let alone have a sleeping mabari where he wouldn't be stepped on or tripped over. He was glad that he had been able to buy new boots with the money when he began his military service; his feet felt worn but they were holding up well. He rubbed his socked feet and regretted it - there wasn't a basin in the room to wash anything. "Be right back."

He padded out and considered knocking on his companions' door, but given the facilities he doubted they would have it much better. A wander down the hallway offered nothing but doors with flaked paint displaying the number of each one. It was something, to have enough rooms that they needed numbering. He'd never seen that before.

At the end of the hallway he saw some promising splashes of water on the floor, but his nose soon realised it was not water at all and he backed off in disgust.

Not as refined a place as he had initially thought.

Carver returned to their little corridor and sat down on the chair with a sigh. He listened to the comings and goings of people for a while. No, this was not terrible. It was as good as he could expect. Better, even. He had to make the best of it, for himself and for Bethany. Maybe when this was all over, they would find permanent work, perhaps even return here. He dismissed that thought. Too much looking back.

The door beside him clicked and Fenris emerged, giving him a nod before heading downstairs.

He recalled Sebastian's words to him and concerned himself with the idea that Fenris needed protecting. Carver hoped he would not be gone too long.

The faintest humming came from the room, and he got up to stand against the open doorway. Sebastian had removed his armour and was undoing his mail. Carver saw that they too had one bed to share between them, and immediately thought of them sharing the space.

"Hello."

Carver turned and went straight back into his room.

"Carv-"

Bethany looked up, already sitting in bed. "Was Sebastian just calling you?"

A knock sounded at the door. Carver restrained the huff building inside him and instead exhaled slowly through his nose. He closed his eyes briefly before turning and opening the door.

"I was just going to ask if Lady Hawke-" he saw where she was and immediately averted his gaze. "Oh, I'm sorry! I did not realise..."

"If Lady Hawke what?" she said, amused, adding, "you can call me Bethany, you know. I'm no lady."

Sebastian shook is head. "It's quite alright. I'll light our lamp with more... practical means."

Carver pushed him out. "Shh!" He shot a glare down the corridor. "Not. So. Loud."

He felt Sebastian's heart beating under his hand. "I am sorry. I will be more careful, of course."

"You... better." Carver said pointlessly before flushing and returning to his room.

He'd walked a long way. He needed to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not seen the official title for the ruler of Markham anywhere, so I decided on Arl as being appropriate for a small city and its lands.
> 
> According to the DA Wiki "The titles ser, bann, and teyrn originate in Ferelden. Calenhad, the first teyrn to unite the Clayne tribes into a single nation, borrowed arl and king from neighboring states." (Ferelden page) Ostwick uses Teryn, but it is coastal and close enough to be influenced. "Official titles differ from one Marcher city to another, though currently none of them boasts a King." (Free Marches page) We know that King was in use in the past in Starkhaven, until it was replaced by Prince. Duke makes me think Orlais, so Arl it is.


	8. Chapter 8

Carver heard Fenris return before drifting off to sleep, and the next thing he knew he was waking up from a dream about that dragon-witch. He supposed that Aveline had delivered the amulet. Another reason he was glad to have left Kirkwall behind. They had enough to be dealing with. Although it didn't preclude the possibility of finding other such beings on their travels.

He shifted in the bed. It was too dark to know what time it was. Bethany still slept soundly beside him.

He did consider staying in bed, but it had never worked for him. Rebel would probably want to see him anyway. Carver dressed quietly and tried to open the door just as carefully - he was used to starting farmwork in the early morning dark in winter so he was less clumsy than Garrett had ever made him out to be - and he looked out at the dawn-lit window, hurting over the thought of his lost family.

Carver wasn't ready to say goodbye.

He should have fought harder, and he had no-one to blame but himself.

The sigh that escaped him was heavy, as were his footfalls going down the stairs. His whole body was sinking into them. He asked the night guard to be let into the kennel and Rebel ruffed at him as soon as he walked in before whining against his door. Carver went in and shut it behind him, dropping to his knees to give the mabari an eager, affectionate cuddle, scratching his fingertips over the short fur. Rebel's tail was wagging in earnest and Carver smiled.

"That's a good boy," he whispered, pressing his cheek against the mabari's shoulder.

Rebel panted happily before pushing against Carver and then flopping himself down against his legs. Carver pressed a hand against the straw covering the floor, and satisfied it was clean enough, he rested down on his side and snuggled up with Rebel, as he had done often since the family had obtained the mabari as a pup. Only Rebel was practically as big as he was, now.

Carver's inhale was deep and he kept whispering adoring nonsense to the hound even as his own eyes filled with tears.

 

He hadn't dropped off, but he had entered into a peaceful post-cry daze when Sebastian appeared about an hour later. He didn't even bother moving or trying to make himself look presentable, even though Rebel had turned to look at the intruder.

"Bethany had asked if I'd seen you." Sebastian offered. "I thought you might be here."

Carver couldn't think of anything to say except _Is it breakfast time?_ which probably would have been rude. He sat up and Rebel bounded to his feet, wagging straw over Carver's face. He sputtered and brushed it off with a grimace before rubbing his cheek.

"You weren't here all night, surely?"

"No," Carver got to his feet, "I just woke up early." He dusted himself off and patted Rebel. "Stay. Just a bit longer. We'll be back soon."

The mabari stilled and looked up at him with the barest whine, and Carver wished he could take him and feed him scraps under the table, but this wasn't Ferelden. He stepped out.

"Allow me." Sebastian said to Carver's confusion, and leaned in to pluck bits of straw from his hair.

Carver's skin flushed warm.

"They'll think there was something wrong with your room." he continued, smiling.

Carver looked away and let him do it. Never had he felt more like a simple country boy. Yet it didn't seem that Sebastian looked down on him for it. "Are you really a prince?"

Sebastian chuckled. "Indeed I am. You'll see my portrait when we get to the palace. If it's still there."

If he'd been born in Kirkwall maybe the Amell estate would have a portrait of him, too. He felt little at the thought.

Sebastian ran his fingers through Carver's hair. There was absolutely no need for it or the way it was making Carver feel but when he opened his mouth to protest Sebastian had already pulled away and was gesturing to the door. "After you."

 

They didn't see Sebastian for most of the day. Bethany had procured some paper at his request (and his expense) and had been busy writing out a few flyers. When she was done, they had walked around the market, stopping at the various weapon and armour stands but eventually putting the notices up where people would see. Carver took it upon himself to make sure that neither Fenris or Bethany be left alone without each other but Bethany clutched Carver's arm when they stopped to get some lunch.

"We're running out of money." She whispered. "We have run out, really... but we can't let them buy anything else for us."

"I'll see if there's anyone wants an errand doing. There must be something in a place like this." They couldn't rely on Sebastian. He had to remember that.

Bethany bit her lip and dropped her voice even further. "I kept a sheet of paper. I want to write to Gamlen."

Carver scowled and pulled back.

"I know you don't approve but I just want to tell him we're alright. He's family."

He didn't have the heart to argue with her considering his mood this morning. If it was important to her, she should do it. She had her own way of coming to terms with everything. "If it makes you feel better."

"Is there anything you want me to say from you?"

What would he say to Gamlen now? If they had stayed in Kirkwall, they would have had jobs but not met Sebastian and Fenris. That thought alone had a way of convincing Carver that they were right where they were meant to be. "Just... sign it from me too."

Fenris returned with the food and sat next to Bethany. "Sebastian has recommended the university as a place we should visit."

"And post a flyer." Bethany added.

He smiled. "Exactly so."

It was a good opportunity to chase after some work. "You go," Carver said, "and take Rebel. I'll meet you back at the inn this afternoon."

 

After a few awkward heavy lifting jobs where he was barely tipped a few coppers, Carver spent a fruitless hour wandering through the city streets. He slumped down and watched people go by. One of their flyers was getting noticed by a few people that passed, and Carver took more careful notice of them. He was going to be the one fighting some of them tonight after all.

He felt a longing for all this to be over but instead of going back to Ferelden, it was Starkhaven that he saw as the goal, rather than a temporary stop. A prince in a palace. It was all so ludicrous. Carver still didn't know what to make of Sebastian, only that he made him feel so self-conscious.

He remembered the fingers in his hair, and closed his eyes, trying to think of anything but his touch.


	9. Chapter 9

Carver scratched his jaw. It had been a good few days now that they'd been travelling and his stubble was starting to irritate him, purely because he was not used to it. It probably would have been possible to shave it off within the city, but in a few days it would be the same again and they'd be stuck in the middle of nowhere, so what was the point?

He'd finally found someone who agreed to let him deliver an urgent letter, not trusting him with anything else, and he was waiting for them to finish.

"To the university with you," said the pompous woman, "and hurry. No need to come back. The man will pay you."

Carver hoped so. It was a fair climb. Maybe he'd find Fenris and Bethany still up there. He knew he couldn't make it in a jog so he trudged up as fast as he could. The air was so different here: Ferelden's had a plainness that he hadn't really noticed until he was away from it, an earthy coldness that sank into his lungs in a way that this air didn't. He felt it more in his throat, in his head - as if temperature alone was unlocking the scent of the trees as he passed. The mountains were grand and proud, guarding the land beyond. Open space. To breathe. To live.

He took a set of steps meant to make the ascent to the building easier and stopped to turn when he got to the top. It was truly breathtaking. There'd be time to admire it, though. He had a job to do.

 

After much waiting and cajoling wherein the man flicked Carver a silver and refused to heed protests that he was meant to give more if he would only read the letter, Carver stormed out of the place.

It wasn't fair. What was more, it hurt his pride to not be able to contribute more to his and Bethany's wellbeing. He'd wanted to show Sebastian that he was capable of taking care of himself. The long walk down wasn't satisfying enough to get the frustration out of his system and he burst into the inn, seeing the three of them at a table and throwing himself down next to them.

"Ale." Sebastian said, passing him a tankard that he had already procured for him.

Carver looked at it sourly and then took it, gulping some down. He was included. Taken care of. He couldn't be as bitter as he wanted about it. He lifted his gaze to Sebastian's and mumbled, "thanks."

"You're welcome."

While he was moping about Sebastian's pretty accent and unfailing politeness, Bethany eventually got his attention.

"Hey. Everything alright?"

"Yeah." Carver swigged. It was hard to admit. "I didn't get much."

"That's okay."

"Where's Rebel?"

She lifted her shoulders. "In the kennel."

He missed Ferelden. The ale was making him more melancholy than he was already, and he drained the pint without realising how thirsty he'd been.

"Another?" asked Sebastian, and Carver shook his head. "You sure?"

"I'm sure."

A matronly barmaid approached them. "Pot of stew for the table, serahs?"

"Yes please," Sebastian smiled, "with extra dumplings." He turned that charm on Carver and it turned saucy. "You'll need the energy tonight."

With that, Carver couldn't pretend any more that Sebastian wasn't _interested_ in him. He just didn't know what to do about it other than duck away and pretend he wasn't intrigued.

 

Ostwick must have been a fluke. A throng of at least thirty people gathered around the meeting place and, as crowds did, attracted passers by.

Carver concentrated on his warm-up form. The focused energy in his muscles distracted from the nerves that had started to stir in him. Keep the knees bent. Slice the blade down. Flick the wrist, send it cutting the other way. Arc the blade up. Find the momentum. Press the advantage. Strike up again. Launch all your force into a sideways spin and let nobody come near you. Repeat.

He felt the weight of attention and pressure from all sides. Sebastian. Bethany. Fenris. The nameless audience. Whenever he looked at Rebel, the mabari's tail would wag and Carver tried to manifest some of that excitement. His body would enjoy the workout, the release of tension, the sensation that he was worth something again. It gave him something intangible that no coin or title could really provide.

Carver shouldered his blade and went directly to Sebastian. "I'm ready when you are." He braved the look, the smile, the _pride_ on the prince's face.

Sebastian addressed the crowd as before. This time there were more questions, more shouts drowning out that refined brogue, but nobody left. Fenris sat beside Bethany and he, too, had his sword ready. Bethany's hand was on Rebel's scruff, keeping him still as the excitement around them built.

"I need warriors, should it come to violence," Sebastian said, "but most of all I need supporters. Perhaps you feel you have nothing to offer today, nothing to gain. But I assure you that your Arl has welcomed me today and we have spoken at length about my plight. His words will come soon, but I speak to you now - I appeal to you. Join me." 

Carver was struck with awe. He had no idea that Sebastian had been so at the heart of things already. He'd never asked what he'd done or how his day had been, too irritated at his own.

"Come," he said, breaking up the murmur, "I am sure some of you would like to prove yourselves. Who will volunteer to spar with my companion here?"

Carver stepped forward, a divide forming as some backed away and some stood fast, equipped for a fight. The first that stepped forward was a guard of some kind, his armour fitted and worn but much more protective than Carver's own gear. It balanced their relative speed, as the guard used his shield as much as his blade to score a hit. There was an intimidating woman with a broadsword, and her skill with it shook Carver as he parried, but he was able to defend her advance.

As he fought off the next few opponents, there were people crowding around Sebastian and Fenris went over to his side. Carver wiped his brow and noticed the groups starting to disperse. He whistled sharply and Rebel bounded to his side.

"You want to have a go, boy?"

Rebel barked. One of the fighters strode forward, a crude wooden shield in his hand and a blunt mace in the other. "I'll take him."

Carver petted Rebel's head. "You know what to do." he stepped back and Rebel growled at his opponent.

The man yelled in a show of bravado and charged forward and Rebel leapt in to meet him, snarling and jumping at him, sending him stumbling back. He swung his mace at the mabari but Rebel reared to avoid it before diving in and grabbing the shield fiercely in his jaws and claws, yanking back and causing an audible splintering. The mace was once again aimed at him and it struck him in the side, which only incensed his ferocity in shaking and tearing the shield from the man's grasp.

The daring had all gone and the man panicked and flailed his weapon at him. Rebel dropped the shield and snapped at him, barking and readying to pounce for the kill.

An arrow flew across and struck Rebel's foreleg, and Carver was running, yelling as the man scrambled away straight to his friend that had made the attack, both of them shouting abuse at 'filthy Ferelden dog-lords' as they made their cowardly escape.

" _Rebel!_ " Carver dropped to his knees next to the growling and whining mabari and put a hand on his back. Rebel barked at him but Carver didn't stop trying to comfort him. "It's okay, shhh, boy, shhh."

Bethany had also run to his side but with people still scattered in the area, she couldn't heal him like she could on the road. They would have to get him to cover. Fenris and Sebastian rushed to them and Carver's hand trembled on the arrow as he gripped it.

"Allow me," Fenris said, "I can help."

Sebastian put his hand on Fenris'. "No."

Carver understood why and yanked it back before thought could stop him. Rebel barked and bled and Carver covered the wound only to be met with more pained snapping. "Bethy _do_ something!"

"I don't think they'll notice me," she said, but they covered her all the same, glaring at anyone who had dared to remain after the meeting had been ruined. Rebel whimpered but then recovered, butting against Carver who sank down on his heels and put his arms around him.

"We will still need to bind the wound," Sebastian said. "I'm sorry this happened."

Carver listened to Rebel's gruff panting, trying to calm his own.


	10. Chapter 10

Carver shifted in place on the bench, his heart still pounding. It was almost dark, but he was in no mood to move yet, watching Bethany sit on her heels and pet the resting Rebel, Fenris a wary lookout nearby.

"How are you?" Sebastian said, sitting next to him.

Carver let his silence answer.

"When we return, I'll order some warm broth for us all. It's been quite a day."

"That's it? It's that easy, is it?"

Sebastian lifted a shoulder. "It will help. That's better than not."

Carver pressed his head back against the wall, his breathing growing harder.

"What's on your mind?"

The resistance of everything he wanted to say was a tension Carver could not hold any more, and it burst out of him with a rush of breath. "How can you be so calm all the time?"

Sebastian smiled. "Practice."

That answered everything and nothing. A Chantry background. Reasons to need to practise in the first place. A controlled front that only showed more when he allowed it to. "That's not enough!"

"There's no simple answer, Carver. We must have faith in the Maker, and in ourselves."

"Is that what I need?" Carver snapped. "To be preached at?"

"That wasn't what... I said it as a friend."

"What am I supposed to do? Watch as everyone I love gets taken away?" Carver leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed his forehead against his hands, hiding his face and his heightened emotions.

Sebastian's hand clasped his shoulder.

"No! Leave me alone!"

The touch was withdrawn only for Sebastian's arm to gather around his shoulders as he sat closer. Carver huffed, not quite a sob, but a release of the same pain he had felt that very morning. Grief. Fear. Helplessness. Sebastian's warmth was soothing. Yet he resisted being comforted like a child. He was not weak.

"I'm... not... I'm fine." he mumbled, rubbing his face.

"Just give yourself a minute."

The indignance rose in him just a little. Why was Sebastian always so sure of what he needed? There was something else, though, something that Carver managed to put above it, although it was quiet. "I'm sorry."

Sebastian rubbed his upper back. "It's alright."

Carver glanced up to see Bethany watching him, and Fenris looking away but with his body turned to them as if he'd been ready to intervene if required. He let out a long sigh and Sebastian smoothed down the hair at the nape of his neck before pulling his hand away.

"Shall we set off then?" he said, picking up his bow.

 

Carver contemplated spending the night in the kennel for real this time, in case the bastards from earlier decided to come after them. There were other inns, though, and maybe they were satisfied they'd done enough damage. However, Carver's priority had to be Bethany, and unless he was going to drag her down and have her sleep in the hay too, he was going to have to leave Rebel.

The mabari was understandably lacking his usual spirit but still wagged his little stub of a tail at Carver, having recovered from his earlier distress. Carver knelt and gave him one last hug. He was in no doubt that anyone stupid enough to try to hurt a mabari would get everything they deserved.

 

The broth was brought up to Sebastian's room as requested and all four of them sat in the small space, drinking from the bowls. More precisely, Fenris leaned against the wall while the others perched on the edge of the bed. It was marginally bigger than Carver and Bethany's room, with a chair in the corner, where Sebastian had placed his armour.

"Should we take these down?" Bethany said as she set the last empty bowl down on the tray.

"Let them clear up tomorrow," said Fenris, "you are a guest."

"Hmm. I'll leave them out in the corridor." she said, walking out with it.

Fenris followed her out. "Not on the floor though, you don't want to encourage rats..."

Their voices trailed off and Carver looked across at Sebastian, immediately regretting it as their eyes met. It meant acknowledging something he wasn't quite ready for yet.

"How are you feeling now?" Sebastian said, shifting into the gap that Bethany had left.

"Uh... better."

"I'm glad. I was sorry to see you upset. Some things, like Rebel's wound, can be mended. Other things... can't. I understand that."

An acceptance settled in him at Sebastian's words, replacing the last shreds of the unfounded suspicion he had held at the other man's kindness. "Thank you."

Sebastian shook his head. "It is you I should thank for staying with me despite your doubts." he flexed his hands, which were even more graceful without his archer's gloves. "What can I do? To ease them?"

"No... I don't know. There's nothing. I shouldn't have said what I did."

"Carver. You can be honest with me."

Bethany's giggle sounded through the open doorway. Carver ran a hand through his hair, stalling at the distraction. Sebastian's features were accentuated in the candlelight and every time he looked up he wondered when he'd started liking him so much.

Carver spoke slowly, unsure of his words even as they came out. "It's like you keep a part of yourself distant, and I feel... I don't know, like I need to get to know you better."

"That could be arranged."

Bethany appeared at the door and broke Carver out of his intimacy. "I'll be in our room, okay?"

Carver nodded and Fenris walked in, unbuckling his gauntlets, eyeing them both on the bed. Carver stood abruptly. "Right. Well. I'd better go." He shot Sebastian a glance so brief, he didn't even get to focus. "Night."

 

Staring up into the dark, he didn't realise Bethany was still awake until she whispered to him. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Fenris has been to Seheron."

"Oh."

"He was telling me about the jungle, and the heat."

"We're not going to Seheron."

She chuckled. "I know that. It's dangerous, anyway."

Carver couldn't ask her if she knew about his lyrium without divulging the fact so he kept quiet.

Bethany clutched his hand, and Carver squeezed back.

 

After breakfast, having established that Rebel was safe and sound, they walked out into the bright morning and let him run, although Bethany was always coaxing him to stay close. There was only a slight limp to his gait, nothing that should draw any more attention than usual.

Sebastian took them up to the grand entryway outside the Arl's castle. "I had a chance to speak to several nobles yesterday and I wish to do so again. Unless you would like to stay in the city another night, once I am done we can move on to the northern border of the Markham territories and look for lodging in one of the villages there."

Carver nodded. The incident with Rebel had dispelled his attraction to the place, and even though he knew that things weren't likely to improve the further from Ferelden they were, he hoped that village folk and farmers would be more tolerant of having an animal around.

Bethany nudged him. "Why don't you go with him? You're nobility, after all." she grinned. Someone was in high spirits.

Carver scoffed, and Fenris regarded them both curiously.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "Private joke?"

Carver shook his head.

"It doesn't matter now," said Bethany, "but we escaped to Kirkwall because we have family there."

"Except he sold the estate - and still wanted us to work for a year to pay for a bribe into the city. Maker knows what he did to spend all that money. Not worth it."

"So you are a lady." Fenris murmured to Bethany, smiling. Carver couldn't help but note that his distaste at Bethany being a mage had not hindered their growing friendship.

Sebastian rubbed his chin, which - like Carver's - was also shadowed with stubble. "It appears we really do need to get to know each other." He smiled and tilted his head in invitation. "Come on."


	11. Chapter 11

Carver looked up the walls of the castle as they approached, not realising just how high he was tilting his head until he glanced over at Sebastian and had to tip the world upright again. It only made the archer's smile grow wider. Carver had never felt so much like a commoner, not even sweating in the sun of the docks for a bit of bread. He was looking up at all this grandeur and it was probably nothing to Starkhaven, he was sure. Just a simple country castle, if there was such a thing. The only fortresses he'd seen were Ostagar and the Kirkwall gallows, and they certainly didn't leave romantic memories. Yet the only thing Sebastian saw fit to look at was him. There was a time where Carver would have carried the assumption that he was being mocked, but he had spent enough time around Sebastian and his attention to feel that it was never the case, and if he was ever subject to light teasing by the other man, it would never be to belittle him.

Sebastian strode through into the castle interior, and caught the attention of a couple that obviously recognised him from earlier. Carver stood to the side, happy to let their names escape him while he waited, but Sebastian drew him into the conversation by introducing him as _Ser Carver Hawke of Ferelden_ and he choked up, staying silent and nodding occasionally. He couldn't believe it. He could have passed as Sebastian's attendant and no-one would have looked twice at him, but now... Now he probably appeared like the haughty noble types that he detested, since he hadn't uttered a single pleasantry. Sebastian led them away.

"Why did you do that?" he hissed, "I'm not dressed for this."

"You've just travelled from a Blighted land, what need have you for finery in anyone's eyes?"

"Still!" the flush of indignation that had not surged before did so now. "I'm not a-" he switched to a whisper, "I'm not Ser Carver of anything. I don't have a home. You shouldn't-"

"Carver," Sebastian put a hand on his shoulder. He paused with a deep breath before he spoke, and the wait made Carver's own agitation calm slightly. "I did not do it to make you uncomfortable. I merely honour you both as a noble and as a friend. No matter where you go, you will always carry Ferelden with you, just as I carry Starkhaven. But I wonder what makes you feel you are undeserving of even a made up title."

Carver was about to counter that he didn't, that it was a ridiculous notion, but immediately felt the thought would do Sebastian's opinion an injustice. Was it true? Was he that easy to see through? Everything Sebastian had said affected him as much as the warmth of his hand and he didn't know why.

Sebastian led him through to a side passage with the pretense of showing him a collection of urns there. Carver was making a fool of himself. He couldn't even make it through one conversation.

After a while, Sebastian said, "I'm sorry. I won't introduce you as Ser Carver Hawke. I just wanted us to be equals here."

The worst part was that Sebastian managed to make his name sound beautiful.

Carver rubbed the side of his face. "No, that's okay. I was just surprised." Sebastian looked at him as if he had more to say, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy, he found more. "Maybe you're right. About the not deserving part."

Sebastian moved closer, until he could feel the cool of the white armour a hair's breadth from his arm. He found it was easier to look at the pottery than at Sebastian, as if that would protect him from being so exposed.

"I've never felt I've deserved anything. Always wanted it but... I wouldn't know what to do with it if I got it." He scoffed at himself, bitterly. "As you can tell."

"Well," Sebastian said softly, because of the distance between them. He was never louder than necessary. "When you're ready, you can introduce yourself."

When Carver looked up, Sebastian wasn't looking at him anymore, instead contemplating a plate on the wall, but he wore the tiniest curl to the edge of his lips, and Carver claimed it as his own.

 

They had to search for a while to find Bethany and Fenris, and it ended up being Rebel who found _them_ instead, charging up to Carver while his head was filled with _aid for Starkhaven_ and _Ser Carver Hawke_. He dropped to his knees and petted the hound with affectionate rubs, the inexplicable relief not entirely to do with finding him safe and sound. Sebastian's last minute appeals to the nobles had felt like another surreal world, and the fact that he had participated - by his own volition - was even more surreal. Yet here he was, Rebel smelling like mabari, Bethany smiling at him, and Sebastian still at his side, like the constant that brought the two worlds closer together. It was one thing to have Sebastian call Carver his companion; it was another to declare himself as such.

"I hope you're rested," Sebastian said to them, "we have lodgings to find before the day is through."

Rebel bounded around them when he saw them all moving in a group, showing his eagerness at least. Fenris naturally fell into step at Bethany's side and Carver was not too averse at the arrangement which left him with Sebastian again. He'd have to make sure he actually got a chance to talk to his own sister at some point, though. After they passed the highest point they made out the village they were going to spend the night and headed down. It was only afterwards that Carver realised neither he nor Bethany had looked back at the view they were leaving behind. It seemed fitting, somehow, to be finally moving forward.

Sebastian's words grew strong in him. He carried Ferelden with him. He didn't need to say goodbye.


	12. Chapter 12

They tried a farm on the plains to the north of Markham, which was isolated from the nearest village. Thanks to Bethany and Sebastian's combined charms, they managed to get themselves a place in the barn, although this time it definitely _was_ one meant for animals. Still, there was a safe working area so it wasn't as if they were going to be sleeping in the muck getting trampled on. Sebastian soon removed his white armour and laid it on a table before covering it with a sack to protect it a little.

The tenants offered them a small meal, which the companions halved just in case their hosts were not so generous at breakfast. After they had eaten, Bethany beckoned Carver in the last of the sunset's glow. Rebel sat by her, tongue out happily. Carver suspected she had given him more than her share.

"What's up?"

"I think he's doing better, isn't he? He managed that trip all right."

Carver crouched down and inspected his leg, careful not to touch it. Rebel gave him a curious - but not displeased - whine before panting again. "Yeah. It's good and healed."

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Before I get caught up in something else again. I think it's time Fenris and I got to potion making."

 

Carver left Bethany showing Fenris a convenient way of preparing elfroot for a potion by laying it on a rock and grinding it with a stone.

He leaned against a wooden beam and looked out over the farm, and beyond to where the mountains rose and Markham's castle crested the path they'd taken. Above, an infinite sky of stars like he'd not seen since Lothering. At some point, he'd stopped running away and started moving forward.

He knew Sebastian was there the moment before he turned to see him.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice was gentle.

Carver looked out over the quiet nighttime landscape again. After a pause, he responded, "Starkhaven."

"Oh?" That drew Sebastian closer, and he stood next to Carver, looking out with him.

Carver regarded him again. He was always interested in how others were doing but his own issues were selectively obscured by his smooth demeanour. Was he in pain? Carver knew the terrible grief of losing family and from what he had learned, so did Sebastian. How was this campaign affecting him? The prospect of claiming his rightful place as ruler, when he'd barely scratched the surface of the task of gathering support. Their little talks giving him only glimpses of what it was like in his head and heart.

"Are you lonely?"

A light scoff came from the other man.

"Don't laugh it off," Carver said stubbornly. "Are you lonely?"

Sebastian made to speak, then hesitated before saying less impulsively, "I have friends around me."

"Yeah. And some of them would like to get to know you better." He took hold of his hand and pulled him closer. Maker, he didn't have much experience with this.

"Carver..."

Already feeling like his breath was caught in his throat, Carver leaned forward to kiss him.

Sebastian's lips met his.

Carver let out a rush of air against his cheek before he could steady it, closing his eyes. He could already feel the warmth of Sebastian's body against his and pressed closer to it, letting go of his hand to put his arms around that waist. Sebastian's hands were on his arms, moving up to his shoulders and up to his face, leaving the ghost of the delicious touch in their wake. Carver made a small hum in the back of his throat, tilting his head and letting the kiss deepen. Sebastian's arms went around him then, making him feel like he was anchored somewhere, instead of drifting endlessly.

Their mouths parted and Carver opened his eyes just enough to see Sebastian smile.

"What about you?" he murmured, his accent still melodic in whisper, "are you lonely?"

Carver closed his eyes. "Sometimes. A lot of the time. But I think..." he looked up, "I hope that will change."

"I think it will. For both of us." Sebastian said, before kissing him again.

 

Carver didn't know what to say to Bethany. They were side by side in the hay, Rebel curled up close by. Sebastian and Fenris were still outside. He didn't see the need to conceal anything from her deliberately, but at the same time it wasn't something he felt the need to announce and draw attention to. So he fidgeted. And fidgeted. Until at last, she whispered, "what's wrong?"

He didn't mean for his answer to be a long sigh, but that was the first thing that came out before he tried to speak. "You know... Sebastian likes me." That was wrong. It shouldn't be about what someone else felt, but what he felt. But Sebastian had been the one to start it, in a way.

"You mean... really?" she whispered, already taking his meaning, definitely awake and definitely intrigued. "He told you?"

"No, I mean, I..." he saw the moonlit shadows fall as the men approached, and whispered furtively, "I like him." He could say no more, and shut his eyes, a habit from the nighttime conversations he and Bethany had shared as children. Pretending to be asleep seemed a stupid idea now. Worrying about it even moreso, since it was completely dark where they were resting.

Bethany said nothing further, but she reached over and squeezed his hand.

 

Carver awoke face down in the hay, and for a moment he didn't want to move. It was strange waking up there only to remember that he didn't have any work to do. If he'd thought about it the night before, he could have asked to do some chores in payment, but it was too late now. Rebel had moved in the night and was curled in front of the doorway, guarding both the twins and their companions. This gave Carver an uninterrupted view of Sebastian as he slept beside Fenris, and he felt the unbidden tender feelings that made him blush and sit up.

Rebel was alert and awake in a heartbeat, bouncing to his side and nudging Carver's side as he stretched. Carver scrubbed at the hound's ears and whispered, "you little brat. Come on, let's go."

He put on his boots and headed outside, rubbing his eyes. He was used to flatter land - the morning sun was over the horizon by the way the sky was lit up, but it was too far behind the mountain to throw its light onto the area yet. There were no trees in the immediate vicinity so Carver doubted he would find a branch to play fetch. It was a shame, as it was the perfect moment, and the first time they'd had a chance to do so since Lothering. He thought of Leandra, and Garrett, and Rebel headbutted his hand for attention and brought him back to the present. He smiled, and when Rebel caught sight of someone else behind him, turned to see Fenris.

"Morning." Carver said.

Fenris nodded, and joined them, accepting Rebel's request for attention from him too. He looked more awake than Carver felt. "Good morning."

Carver was content in the companionable silence but Fenris had something on his mind. "Sebastian once told me that if I went to Starkhaven with him I could train others to fight. I have my own skill, however... I do not know much about the military, but Bethany tells me you have lived it. I would like to discuss it with you during our travels. It may help me be more certain about what I could offer should I accept."

Carver's last moments of military life had been full of fear, cowardice and guilt. He did not feel qualified to offer much insight, especially given the short time he had been a soldier. Still, he had seen more training than battle, and knew how many things worked, even though he'd only seen them from the bottom rung. "I'd like to," he said, nodding. "I'd like to talk."

"Thank you, Carver." Fenris said, and Carver felt this was something that brought them closer at last.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge apologies for the shocking delay. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

For some reason, Carver had it in his head that the road would be deserted, so he was surprised by just how many people they came across travelling between Markham and Ansburg in both directions. While it wasn't a busy road, there wasn't an hour where they didn't see at least one person. Rebel kept wanting to race ahead, and constantly bounded at Carver for attention until he relented and ran with him. Carver knew he should be saving his energy for the long haul, but at the same time it was nice to do something other than walk. He felt different in the world when he ran, going at speed with Rebel beside him, the air rushing over his skin.

 

Rebel growled and snapped beside him and Carver stumbled, crashing to the ground as someone lunged at him. Barking loudly, the mabari grabbed the attacker's leg with his teeth to yank him away from Carver. The man yelled in pain, shoving one of his daggers into the ground just shy of Carver's face, the other flailing behind him. Rebel gnawed on his arm instead, his fangs already full of blood. Carver couldn't get his sword but he punched the guy as hard as he could, struggling to get out from under him. Two more bandits descended on them with weapons raised, but one collapsed in a heap before he got there, an arrow in his chest.

Carver felt the chill of Bethany's ice magic on the bandit above him, and took advantage to push him off while his movement was restricted. He scrambled to his feet and pulled his sword out, the third bandit already on him. She nicked his arm with her blade and he swung back with greater reach, cutting her side. An arrow embedded itself deep into her arm and she screamed. Fenris arrived at Carver's side and helped Rebel finish off the bleeding man, a flash of blue through his chest. Bethany set the woman alight and she fell to the floor, rolling in agony.

Sebastian walked up to her, bow pointed at her at short range. "Tell me why I shouldn't end you now."

The bandit whimpered. Rebel growled at her, looking frightening even to Carver with his bloody jaw and aggressive stance.

"Do it." Fenris said. "She wouldn't hesitate to kill us if she could."

The woman looked in a sorry state as she cowered.

Bethany went to Carver's side, looking to heal him. They could only be observers in this. Fenris and Sebastian had made the kills. As much as Carver was a soldier, he had only fought darkspawn to the death until now, just like Bethany had when they escaped Lothering. Although he knew he had cut deep.

Sebastian watched, and the woman was weak and bleeding, dying from the combined injuries they had given her. There was the whip of his bowstring, and then silence.

 

The bandits had been well hidden in the rocky landscape at the base of the mountain they were circling, and Carver leaned against a boulder, processing what had happened.

Sebastian went up to him. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Carver nodded, "just scraped. You weren't far behind."

"Lucky for that." Sebastian thumbed Carver's jaw and made him look at him. Carver remembered their kiss. "I can't tell you to stay by my side. You're as likely to protect me as I am you, but... when I heard Rebel..."

Carver chuckled his way out of blushing at the touch. "Bet they didn't expect a mabari this far north."

"No indeed. Although if you'd been alone and unarmed, perhaps they were only going to threaten you - if they intended to rob you. Speaking of which..." Sebastian walked off and looked around. Carver checked on Bethany and Fenris, who were cleaning Rebel up, before following him.

 

A little further ahead, they found the camp. Rebel had left Bethany's side to follow Carver again and started nosing around the bandits' stuff, letting out soft little growls.

"It's okay, boy." Carver said, patting him.

"Let's take what we can. Fenris!" He called back. "Search the bodies. We'll look here."

Looting the looters. It was odd, and made Carver feel a little guilty, as if somehow the banditry had now passed to them. He wanted to pull Bethany away from all this and move along quickly. His thoughts turned back to Ostagar, and the desperate way some of his comrades had raided fellow soldiers' bodies for weapons after losing their own, and Carver never got that far, because he ran... He closed his eyes.

An arm went around him. His breath hitched and he looked up into Sebastian's eyes. "Sorry, I-"

Sebastian kissed him, and everything melted for a moment, just a moment of warmth, lust, promise. He was reluctant when it ended, but he knew the others were not far away, and it was still a secret.

"We'll reach the river soon. And when we get to Ansburg, we'll be done with trekking across the land. I have many friends and supporters there, and not only will we be safer but you'll see that my army is more than just a rabble with pitchforks."

The crunch of footsteps announced Bethany and Fenris' arrival, and Sebastian took a step back. Rebel wagged his tail at them, tongue hanging out, and Carver relaxed, trusting his hound's instincts. This had been the most perilous day since Lothering, although the archer that had shot Rebel in the tryouts had given him quite a scare.

 

Sebastian addressed them all. "Where the stream joins the river from the east, there is opportunity to get passage on a merchant boat, since it also serves as a route to Hercinia. If we can do that, then we might get to Ansburg by nightfall. Otherwise, we can keep to the road and set up camp."

"Will that be safe, after what just happened?" asked Bethany.

"Only the most foolish opportunists would attack an armed company such as ours, but once we get to the more populated part of the route, bandits become more rare."

Carver kicked the ground a bit, prompting Rebel to sniff around his feet. "What about getting on a caravan? Is it really that hard?"

"I may have wealth at my disposal but not on me; I can only rely on favours. And out here, I don't have many."

Fenris cut in. "Let us keep walking. The option will present itself, or not."

 

They took some food from the remains of the camp, which Carver was grateful for, as his stomach had started rumbling. The food was also comforting after the stress of the fighting, despite how it had been obtained. He watched Sebastian walking ahead of him, his eyes traveling down his body and back up. It was wrong to be so distracted by him when he should be alert to the dangers of the open road, but Sebastian's touch, and their kiss... he yearned to explore what it was between them without any of the concerns they were both carrying.

As soon as they had a private moment, he wouldn't waste another second.


	14. Chapter 14

Once they reached far enough around the slope to see the river, the view was quite impressive. Several tributaries glimmered in the sun as they joined the main vein that led towards Ansburg. It wasn't clear enough to make out the city itself, but fairly soon they would have sight of their next destination.

"Can you fish, Carver?" said Sebastian.

"He never had the patience for it," answered Bethany, directing a smile at her brother. "Before you ask, he doesn't hunt, either."

"I'm a farmer, and proud of it. And a soldier - a shit one though. But I'm still only eighteen."

"You're a fine soldier, Carver."

"Agreed." said Fenris, which stalled the objection Carver was about to voice.

Bethany walked beside Carver for a while, as the others discussed something ahead. "I thought you hated farming."

There was a lot Carver would do to go back to the life they used to have. Before Malcolm had died, before the Blight, everything. "It's not a bad set of skills to have. Yeah, it made me..."

"Grumpy."

"But didn't everything?" He grinned.

Bethany linked her arm in his. "Two words: cinnamon buns."

Carver groaned. Sebastian glanced back at him at the sound but Carver pushed the thoughts down for later. "I'll be thinking about it for days now, thanks Beth."

"You're welcome. Is that your stomach rumbling already?"

The twins jostled each other playfully back and forth until they burst out laughing.

"Should we be worried?" Sebastian said, looking back again.

Fenris smiled, his eyes on Bethany. "Be ready for anything."

 

Their walk to the river ended up being uneventful, and they joined the small crowd milling about the merchant stalls and tethered boats. There were also a few tents scattered about.

"Do you think this will ever become a village?" Bethany asked, looking around.

"It's a convenient trading location," said Sebastian, "but there's not enough trade to make it worth it for many. It would take someone to invest and build here, with the Arl's permission - and start taxing people to fund amenities."

"Hmmm." was all Bethany said as she pondered that.

"An inn would be useful here," said Fenris, "but they would need half their staff again in guards."

Rebel sniffed hopefully at a few stalls, but Carver coaxed him along. There was nothing there for the mabari, except for whatever meat they had out, and it didn't look like they would be able to afford that until they got to Ansburg - and Carver knew they would be depending on Sebastian until they made some money themselves. He still wasn't sure exactly how it would work. They weren't employed by Sebastian as such. He'd have to confess to being in his debt if they were going to have a decent meal that evening. Bethany had been half right; he'd only been getting hungrier since.

 

They chose a rocky bank not too far away to sit and have a rest while Sebastian made enquiries. Bethany closed her eyes and basked in the sun. It was nice not to be quite so chilly.

Sebastian returned with news, but before he gave it he handed them all savoury pastries and insisted they eat. He dropped a dense meat pie for Rebel to chew on and sat down beside them on the warm rock. Nobody spoke much while they had their fill, and afterwards they passed around a water bottle to wash the food down.

"I'll have to fill this," Fenris said, before hopping down to where the water could be easily obtained. It might not be the purest but Carver wasn't picky.

Sebastian waited until he returned before getting to his feet. "I've found a merchant couple who are willing to grant us passage on their boats, which are too small for us to travel together. We will have to split up for a few hours, but it will allow us to arrive in Ansburg by midnight."

They looked at each other but no-one had any objection.

"Carver, may I have a word?" Sebastian gestured to the side.

Carver nodded and then followed him. "What is it?"

"May I be your companion for the journey?"

Carver had assumed he'd be travelling with Bethany and Rebel. "Uh... Are you sure it'll be safe?"

"With you?" he smiled, "I'll behave if you will."

Carver's thoughts stumbled, only because at that particular moment he _hadn't_ been thinking about Sebastian like that.

"Your sister will be as well protected as if you were there, I can promise you that. Fenris will look after her. And I dare say, she is quite capable of returning the favour."

It was a persuasive enough argument. "All right. Sure. Go on then."

Time alone with Sebastian. Given his confession to Bethany, he was convinced it would be obvious to her why they were pairing off like that. He tried to stay unflustered but his quickening pulse was a different beast. They were hardly going to be able to do much anyway, not in a stranger's proximity, and not if they had to be wary they weren't being shipped off to muggers or slavers.

He kept casual and didn't meet Bethany's gaze in case he got a knowing look. Maybe it was all in his head. To Carver, however, his emerging relationship with Sebastian was the biggest thing happening right now, so it felt like it was obvious for all to see.

 

There wasn't much to do while they waited but Carver was glad for the rest. The cut on his was fairly well healed thanks to Bethany and didn't look like it had been made that day. Eventually Sebastian led them to the mooring where the merchants had just finished loading. The sky was growing dark and the couple lit the lanterns on the boats.

"After you," Sebastian said, and Carver climbed on. It was a tight space under the tent, smaller than he'd been expecting. He found a place to sit among the rolled up cloths and Sebastian joined him, unashamedly squeezing against him. It was definitely cosy, and once the tent was fastened, dark.

Before long, the swaying of the boat indicated its movement along the river and Carver tried to relax. There was a flutter of nerves inside him, but good ones. He wanted this. He stroked what he hoped would be Sebastian's arm, and Sebastian was soon pressing against him, armour and all. Carver tried to find his face for a kiss but laughed before their lips could touch.

"It was good to hear you laugh today," Sebastian murmured before finally making the kiss happen.

"Mmmm." It was good. So was this. "Makes up for the shitty parts."

"Yes." Sebastian bit Carver's bottom lip softly and Carver sighed, flushing. "Do you want me to stop talking?"

"You might not have a choice." Carver said, palming his way down Sebastian's body to his thigh. It didn't have armour on, at least. He slipped his hand under the tunic and squeezed.

"Mmmh." That sounded like agreement.

Sebastian lowered his head to kiss his neck and Carver tipped his head back as far as he could to let him. Maker but this was good. He might not last one hour, let alone several. He might have to rethink exactly what they could get up to. "Sebastian?"

Sebastian kissed his jaw. "Yes?"

Carver pulled one of Sebastian's hands to his crotch.

"Well, now."

"Nh. Shh."

Sebastian chuckled, then unlaced Carver's breeches with a deft hand.


	15. Chapter 15

Carver exited the boat, blinking into the torchlight. Spending a few hours in the pitch darkness had left his senses imbalanced, especially as the others had been overstimulated. He and Sebastian had pleasured each other several times, and his mind was still in the thick haze of it. His heated skin cooled in the night air and he stretched out his limbs as Sebastian stepped off the boat behind him. As Bethany and Fenris did the same nearby, Carver thought to check his clothing and patted himself down, finding himself very rumpled but otherwise clean enough.

Sebastian spoke to the merchants so all Carver could do was stand awkwardly and hope nobody suspected what he'd been up to. With horror, he wondered if they'd left any stains on the bolts of cloth. Sebastian had been good with cleaning up, and it was hard to remember the feel of that silk handkerchief on his bare skin without flushing again. _Maker._

Bethany looked around at the dock, shifting her weight in a way that looked like she was getting used to being on solid ground again. Fenris, in contrast, was still and alert, much like his usual self, but he never kept far from her.

Carver observed this with interest. Fenris was moving like he was Bethany's bodyguard, just like he had been with Sebastian.

"You okay?" Bethany smiled as she approached, holding something in her hand.

"Yeah. I'm good. How was your trip?"

"We talked, and borrowed a deck of cards," she gestured with it. "They let me keep them."

"You had light?"

"There were holes in the tarp."

"But it can't have been bright enough-"

Bethany raised her eyebrows at him.

_Oh. Right. Magic._

"You didn't?"

"No." Carver said. He could see Sebastian approach from the corner of his eye. "We just... rested."

"I think we all need to stretch our legs." Sebastian said. "It should only take us an hour to walk to the city edge. Shall we?"

 

Carver was glad of the exercise. Once they had left the dock area, some lights were visible in the distance, although if that was Ansburg it didn't look that remarkable. The road was fairly quiet and Carver walked with Bethany, leaving Sebastian to talk to Fenris for a while.

After passing some farms, they reached the outskirts and Sebastian led them towards a run down inn. However, instead of going inside, he offered a coin to one of the youths outside to run a message for him.

"Let's keep walking," he said, as the messenger raced the street ahead.

It was too late for there to be much activity and there was no light from most houses, but Sebastian was able to guide them well even through the occasional dark street. The residential area made way to wider roads with torches and guards, and shops that were shut for the night. There were also templars. Several taverns spilled drunkards and beggars onto the streets, who looked at their weapons with apprehension and didn't bother them.

"He could have stolen your coin." Fenris said.

"He's welcome to it. I did give it to him freely." Sebastian side eyed his friend. "Are you tired?"

"I am functioning."

Sebastian chuckled. "Oh dear. It won't be long now, friends."

 

There hadn't been much of a skyline to speak of but now Carver noticed some taller buildings including a Chantry.

Bethany sighed beside him. It had to be past midnight and Carver was also feeling tired and hungry, after the thrill of being with Sebastian had calmed down.

"Down here."

A dark side street, but the flicker of firelight played around a corner and they were greeted by an elven servant. Message received, then. "If you please, sers, follow me."

They followed her to the door of a large building, not impressive in architecture but ornate decorative details flickered in and out of view. She passed them inside to another servant holding a lamp and the wealth of the house revealed itself. From the gold on the picture frames to the plush fabrics, this had to be a rich noble's house. Carved candles lit the place prettily, and in the room they were ushered into, a lady dressed in fine robes welcomed them.

"Your highness," she said with an approving look at Sebastian. "My house is at your disposal, as always."

"Thank you, my lady." He took her hand and turned to his companions. "This is Lady Ingram, a longtime ally and friend."

"Who is delighted to meet you all, but really should be retiring. Introductions in the morning, then?"

Carver was thankful to be spared the small talk while he was tired. The servant led them through the house and eventually upstairs to a corridor where he allocated individual rooms to Sebastian and Bethany on the left and Carver and Fenris to the right.

"If you need anything, just ring the bell."

Carver didn't even wait for that. "What about food?"

"I will bring something up, if you wish."

"Uh, well, hopefully there'll be room to-" Carver opened the door to his room. "Oh. Here is fine." There was room for dinner all right. As well as the massive bed, there was a desk, and another table big enough to sit half a dozen people, if there were only enough chairs. The list of furniture went on. And this was just for him?

He turned back, but the servant had gone. Sebastian smiled at him, and made him warm inside again. But he remembered the 'highness' part, and he had a feeling he was entering a different world.

Fenris and Bethany went to see their rooms and Sebastian tilted his head for Carver to follow him into his.

 

"I don't want to keep you from your rest, but I want to tell you that you are welcome to sleep here if you wish. Everyone knows that even when rooms are allocated that there is often... reshuffling. So don't worry about the floorboards creaking." Sebastian grinned.

Now Carver had the idea of other things creaking and he glanced away to hide it. In the dark, it had been easy, so easy to bare himself in more ways than one.

Sebastian stepped into his personal space and coaxed him into a kiss. Carver sighed into it, his nerves fading away. Sebastian stroked his hands down Carver's back. "We'll be staying here for a few nights, so take your time." Another kiss. "But I'd really, really, really like you to join me, Carver."

 _Oh._ There was the way his name was said that turned his insides to jelly. "Mmm." It was tempting. "I... think I'll just sleep. Alone. Tonight." Carver already knew he'd be with Sebastian the following night. It felt inevitable.

"Very well." Sebastian said with a smile and another kiss. "I think you will enjoy the beds here regardless. You will be safe and comfortable, and so will your sister. Take all the rest you need. Breakfast is whenever you want it. Leave the business to me."

Carver kissed him again, thinking about how Sebastian would feel against him once his armour was off. It was a happy thought to take back to his room, and after eating the small meal that was already laid out, it didn't take long for him to fall fast asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> end of this chapter is nsfw

Carver woke to birdsong. It was simple and beautiful, and he lay there for a while in the plush bed, listening. The heavy coverlet was warm but not suffocating, and he felt no urgency to move. Pale daylight framed the curtains and hinted at an overcast morning. He wriggled his feet and stretched his limbs, sitting up.

Hearing the chantry bells prompted him to get up. He washed himself and inspected his well-travelled clothes. They hadn't had much opportunity to wash them. Sweat, mud and bloodstains marred the outfit, but it was the only one he had.

The corridor and stairs were silent. His intention had been not to disturb the others, but walking around alone made him feel as though he would be stopped and made to explain himself.

However, the person he encountered when he rounded a corner was Bethany.

"Hi," she smiled, looking up from her book. "I was waiting for you."

"Do you know where we're supposed to eat? In our rooms?"

"No, here." She indicated the door to her left. "I've been told to ring the bell and they'll bring breakfast through."

"Good. I'm starving." Carver held his arm out to her, smiling. "Come on."

Bethany took his arm and hugged it. At least she didn't mind the smell.

 

The servants brought dishes through and started uncovering them to reveal sliced peaches, cooked ham, bread rolls, boiled eggs, fruit loaf, and butter to go with everything. As the twins plated up eagerly, steaming milk was brought through, each jug holding a different mouthwatering fragrance.

Such fine, fine food. Carver wondered at the luck that had brought Sebastian Vael into their lives. It had been an extraordinary journey. Where would he and Bethany be, had they not met him and made such a friendship? Probably still on the Ostwick docks, trying to earn enough for another night at the inn and a bowl of cheap stew between them.

Carver's stomach growled as he ate. He had put some of everything on his plate, and it was as delicious as the anticipation of it had promised.

"Maker," he said, mouth full, to Bethany, and she agreed in an equally muffled reply.

 

Fenris joined them before they had finished their feast, and Carver went for seconds. When the door opened and Sebastian came through, Carver could only remember to breathe. Instead of his usual travelling gear, Sebastian was wearing a bright blue deep necked tunic that matched his eyes and showed off his chest, and a darker, almost purple velvet jacket around his shoulders. All the servants bowed immediately.

Bethany's voice whispered in his ear. "Carver. Swallow."

Carver did and immediately blushed hot all over his face. That was the moment Sebastian looked at him.

"Good morning," Sebastian said, going straight for the seat next to Carver.

Carver's heart raced. Between his reactions and Sebastian's attention, surely everyone would know what was going on between them. He uttered a _hi_ and stared back at his plate. Why was he so fucking shy? _Carver Hawke, own up to it. At least to him._ He lifted his chin again and turned his head to look Sebastian right in the eye.

The approving look he got back went straight to his cock. He managed to stave off arousal. That would be awkward.

Thankfully Bethany broke the silence. "You have clothes stored here?"

"I'm just borrowing them. But I'll have some brought for you all. Any preference?"

Fenris made a disgruntled sound which Carver could only assume was a warning against anything ridiculous. Bethany hesitated.

"I would, of course, want you to choose yourself, my lady, but for your safety... a selection."

"Okay."

Sebastian turned to Carver. "The same applies to you, although... there is something I have in mind." Sebastian continued his breakfast.

Carver wondered what he would end up wearing later.

 

"This is one I _did_ leave here last time." Sebastian said, going through the wardrobe in his room. "But I want you to wear it." He held up a white shirt with gold embroidery, which glimmered in the light.

"Uhh... are you sure that's-"

"It's loose on me." Sebastian smiled.

"No, I just meant. Isn't it a bit... royal?"

"Carver. You will draw attention to yourself being by my side in the first place. You will get all the plain clothes you like, but I know you're scared of this. Just wear it today."

"Just... don't call me noble whatever," Carver said, only too happy to remove his dirty tunic. Sebastian watched him appreciatively. "Yeah, yeah. I know." He slipped on the soft garment, which did, miraculously, fit well. He hurriedly changed his trousers and boots into the other ones provided.

"It suits you."

Carver resisted hearing that. "You're not trying to change me, are you?"

Sebastian went to him and took his hand. "No. But you do look stunning. I mean it."

Carver lowered his head. "Thanks."

 

Sebastian took Carver out, inviting Bethany and Fenris to stay behind and acquaint themselves with the family.

"They'll be safe. And I'm sure they'll appreciate the rest."

"So I don't get that consideration?" Carver teased.

Sebastian smiled. "Tomorrow. Today, there's something I want you to see."

"But... will we be safe?"

Sebastian hitched up his jacket to show the dagger he hid there.

They walked through the city only a short while before reaching a guard post with some horses stationed there. Sebastian spoke to them and procured a horse before getting on and gesturing at Carver to join him.

They didn't exactly look as hardy as the ones in Ferelden, but Carver knew enough about horses to see that this one would have no problem carrying both their weight. He got on, hands at Sebastian's waist, holding on more tightly as soon as Sebastian kicked forward. They cleared out of the stone that paved the city onto hard soil paths and Sebastian slowed the pace down.

Carver appreciated the view. He also appreciated the warmth of Sebastian's body in his arms and the way he smelled so good. Whatever else was going on, this moment was as close to happy as he could hope to get.

 

Sebastian rode them to a fort outside the city, and as they neared the gates there were shouts announcing that the Prince had arrived and to open the gates. For Sebastian to command that by his presence alone... Carver had to admit he was impressed.

Within the walls, many soldiers were training, and those that were able to interrupt for a moment acknowledged Sebastian's arrival.

"Are these Ansburg's forces?"

"No. They are mine."

Carver was shocked into silence.

"The Margrave offered to send his army to Starkhaven, but I did not want to make our people enemies. They will bolster our numbers when the time comes, but only when I lead them."

Until they could be seen by the Margrave, they had to wait, but it seemed Sebastian was free to ride and walk the palace as he pleased, and he showed Carver around.

"It has been difficult to gain some support in the other cities. But not here. This is my base, as it were, until I can call Starkhaven home again. The first time I left Kirkwall on hearing the news, I was enraged. Grieving. No clear plan. The Margrave welcomed me and championed my cause, and after that, I gained further support from the Arl of Markham."

As they walked and spoke to the soldiers, Carver was only uneasy to think that they would see him as a noble and not one of them. But Sebastian only introduced him as _Carver Hawke, my companion. He'll be fighting alongside us._

Was Sebastian right to question his fear? No one whispered among themselves that Carver was a liar, a fake. No one insulted him or showed doubt when Sebastian mentioned his skill and swordsmanship.

They spent the entire day in and around the fort, ending the visit by dining with the Margrave. They rode back to Ansburg with the daylight quickly fading, heading for the torchlight of the city ahead. Carver rested his head against the back of Sebastian's shoulder, just wanting to be close to him.

 

After establishing everything and everyone in the house was well, Sebastian took Carver up to his room. Carver felt bad that he had not spent more time with Bethany, a trend that had become the norm in the past couple of days. Still, this - what he had with Sebastian - demanded his attention. His full, invested attention. A night together. No hard floor, no threat of bandits, no interruptions.

Sebastian kissed Carver, unlacing the shirt he had loaned him. "You still look incredible," he murmured, "but I think it looks better off."

Carver closed his eyes, hands going to push Sebastian's jacket from his shoulders. "Mmmm. You've been wanting to take it off all day, haven't you?"

"Aye," Sebastian said, kissing him again with a smile. "It was worth it." He tugged the shirt up off him and discarded it to the side.

"Isn't that expensive- mmh."

Sebastian liked kissing him. A lot.

They made a few stumbles on the way to the bed, over boots and breeches, but finally crawled on it naked and this time Carver could see and be seen. The way Sebastian was so _open_ with his admiration for Carver made him feel so wanted, and he leaned over him to initiate the next set of kisses and touches.

Soon he was hard, and Sebastian was too, responding under his hand with a moan.

Maker, but he wanted more of that. He kissed Sebastian's neck, hungry to show his desire as he stroked him.

"Carver-" cut off by a gasp, Sebastian tilted his head back. It was amazing how quickly the veil of smooth control fell back. Carver worked his cock slowly but firmly, watching the brown skin flush all over.

It was electric, better than the night in the boat already. Seeing each other in the candlelight, able to move and touch as they pleased, and able to be more vocal. Although part of Carver still considered his surroundings, knowing that at some point there would be people in the corridor on their way to the rooms nearby.

Sebastian pushed Carver onto his back, taking the lead and returning the determined attention, working his erection with a rhythmic twist. Carver bit down on his lip as he groaned, the sound and pleasure coming from deep within him. Sebastian slid between Carver's legs and pressed his body down on his, stroking faster until Carver was arching up against his weight, breathless with pleasure.

"Yes," he moaned, "Seb- Sebastian..nnh..." Carver dropped his head to one side as Sebastian tongued his neck, and his hands returned to Sebastian's cock to continue getting him off. They were both panting, twisting the sheets as they rolled to switch positions once more, Carver grunting as he fucked down into Sebastian's hand.

"Carver," came his name, strained, from Sebastian's lust-worn voice. "I... I-" Sebastian bit his lip and Carver drank in the sight of him heated, unkempt.

Carver moaned, his muscles tensing and his toes curling as he kicked down, groaning long and hard with his imminent release. He cried out, spurting over Sebastian's skin, his hand moving erratically over his cock.

Sebastian climaxed after little more encouragement, arching with a husky call, sweat clinging to his hair. He sighed and pulled Carver against his body as they came down, Carver feeling Sebastian's heart hammering against his chest as surely as he could his own.

"Stay tonight, please," Sebastian whispered, and Carver was only too happy to comply.


	17. Chapter 17

Warmer than he was used to, Carver noticed the presence of another body next to him as he woke up. He looked over at Sebastian naked under the covers with him. The light was different in this room, even with the same thick curtains keeping the morning out. Sebastian was breathing softly and Carver watched the slow rise and fall.

Another morning waking up safe.

He hadn't dreamed of Ostagar in a while, or Lothering. The grief of what the Blight had taken didn't stab at him quite so strongly. It was a quiet, sad mourning inside him. He and Bethany had started out as two desperate refugees, but it had been a while since they'd felt like that. He cuddled closer to Sebastian as carefully as he could manage, not wanting to wake him yet.

Carver was drifting into a cosy daydream when Sebastian woke up. They both breathed deeply and roused their minds, and Sebastian put his arms around Carver.

"Good morning," he said. Carver loved the husky burr of his sleep-worn voice.

"Morning," Carver murmured back. The arms around him were solid and Carver sank further into them. Sebastian pressed his lips against Carver's hair and showed no intention of moving from the embrace.

Skin on skin. It was warm. It was right.

"I'm going to tell Bethany. About us."

Sebastian smiled. "Not in detail, I hope."

"No! Maker..." Sebastian could tease him so well.

"Among friends, we have nothing to hide." Sebastian moved a hand to stroke Carver's jaw. "I'm happy you're serious about this."

Carver looked up at him. "Yeah. I am."

Sebastian kissed him, his fingers trailing down to Carver's collarbone. "Hmmm. Me too." He paused and sighed. "Now, as much as I want _you_ for breakfast, I believe we should make ourselves presentable."

 

Carver had found some more new clothes in his unused room, as well as those that had been washed. He considered his familiar Fereldan gear but the tunic did look rather shabby. He put the rest on and chose a black shirt to go with it before heading downstairs. Breakfast allowed him to catch up with Bethany, although it was not private enough for the topic that he had in mind. She had also chosen to mix up her outfit and had put her hair up.

"Let's go walk Rebel," Carver said to her when they'd finished. He'd not seen much of either of them lately, and this was the perfect excuse to know more of the city. It was different than the other places they'd passed through. It wasn't just a place to rest before moving on, it was the closest thing Sebastian had to a base, and therefore the closest thing they had to a home.

"Wait for a moment," Sebastian said, standing before they could, and left the room.

Carver looked at Fenris, who made a gesture of not knowing either.

"What will you do today, Fenris?" Bethany asked.

"I am here to assist Sebastian. And you, if you require anything. Beyond that, I have not thought. Training, perhaps."

"I think you'll like the fort outside the city," Carver said, "if you have a chance to go."

"You can't do that all day," said Bethany. "Why don't you come with us?"

Fenris smiled. Sebastian returned, holding three small pouches. "Your payment so far," he said, handing them one each. "Long overdue."

"Thank you," Carver said, feeling its weight. It was the only coin he had to his name. A strange thing, but a new beginning.

 

They had agreed to meet Fenris and Sebastian for lunch, but the rest of the morning was theirs. Rebel's stub tail wagged happily and they headed out, having gleaned some information on the city and where to go.

The sun illuminated glints of metal on shop signs and, worryingly, templar armour. Carver and Bethany followed the opposite edge of the square on instinct, letting it look like they were following their mabari's whim as he snuffled his way along the street.

"Hey!" A templar shouted.

Bethany froze but put a smile on her face as the man clunked closer.

_Dammit, why now, we've barely walked two steps. If we could only run back..._

"Not seen one of those in a while. Fereldan, are you?"

It took Carver a few moments to realise he was talking about Rebel.

"Yeah." He nodded, and leaned down to pat the mabari's rump before he got too defensive.

"Not been on the wrong side of one, I hope?" Bethany said, keeping that smile in her tone of voice.

"No, thankfully not, and I don't plan to." The templar sounded amused. "Will he bite?"

_Only on command._ "Not at all," Carver said. He knelt down and scruffed one of Rebel's ears. "Good boy. Say hello."

The templar offered his hand and Rebel merely sniffed it before letting his tongue hang out again.

"Well. I'll not keep you any longer. Have a good day."

"Thanks," the twins said in unison, not walking off until the man had rejoined his patrol partner, no matter how quickly they wanted to be out of sight.

"Oh, that wasn't frightening at all," Bethany said in a low voice as they carried on.

"They seemed far too relaxed. Let's make sure they don't follow us."

"Carver... looking behind us will only seem suspicious." She was saying this under her breath now and he could barely hear her, but it was a necessary precaution.

"Fine." Carver sighed and concentrated on their surroundings so that he could get his bearings later. Cities looked different when not trying to work out where the next bit of coin was coming from. Shops were no longer job opportunities.

Templars were still templars, though.

"Maybe he was just checking if we'd trained Rebel to attack him on sight." Carver muttered.

"Shhh. Besides, Rebel knows what he's doing. He doesn't need us to tell him, do you boy?"

It was comforting to know that Bethany was the least worried of the two of them.

 

After a particularly lusty haggle in the marketplace over a sword, Carver walked away with his prize and caught up with Bethany at the next stall. "Ready?"

She nodded, pocketing a purchase. "I'm only going to get hungrier."

They walked back to the square where they would be eating with the others. It occurred to Carver that they could have just eaten in the estate for maximum safety. They'd had a walk already, one that had dispelled any feeling of being cooped up. Or at least, in Carver's mind. Maybe Bethany had a different outlook entirely.

"What do you think, then - do you like this city?"

"It doesn't exactly call to me as home. Though I do _like_ it." She paused. "I think I liked Markham better."

"Oh?" Carver didn't have the best memories of Markham. He shielded his eyes as they reached the square. This place had more possibility.

He didn't need to read a sign to find where they were going. Sebastian was standing by a door, his gold and white armour looking its best under the bright sun. Sebastian did too, the red in his hair deeper and his eyes pale and brilliant as he turned to meet Carver's approach.

"Hello," he said, his smile curved like his bow.

"Expecting trouble?" Carver said.

"Do you mean yourself?"

Carver scoffed. "Give over."

Bethany chuckled behind her hand. "That was so Fereldan."

"I've not been here for a while. I'd rather have some protection. Also, people expecting a prince don't want to see a travel-worn rogue."

Carver pressed close to Sebastian as they walked into where Fenris was holding their table. "Don't remember that being why you were worn out."

Sebastian said nothing in reply but rewarded him with the most salacious look once they were seated.

 

Carver was able to ignore most of the chatter while he ate but he caught a mention of Redcliffe and his attention was immediately taken. He noticed Bethany look alert too.

"It's good to hear he's still alive. It's like a little piece of Ansburg's fighting the Blight."

"He's not really from Ansburg."

"I know, I know. The Ashes bit could be bullshit though."

"What, Eamon? Of course it is."

"Carver."

He stopped eavesdropping and turned to Sebastian. "Sorry." They must have been talking about Bann Teagan and the Arl.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah, it's just... good to hear news from home."

Sebastian's expression softened. "Still home, then."

_Where else could it be?_ Maybe he wasn't as distanced as he'd thought. He nodded, unable to produce another answer. It just didn't seem likely to be a home he could ever go back to. Not yet.

 

"Your highness," said one of the servants when they returned to the estate, "there's a parcel come for you in the drawing room." She bobbed her head. "The margrave had it brought from the fort."

"Thank you, Kelly." Sebastian said, and the girl blushed and scurried away. "Carver, come."

Carver followed him into the room and set down his sword on the table.

"I've been waiting for this," Sebastian said, unlacing the thick string that bound the cloth wrapping.

Carver watched him as he unfolded the package to reveal a bolt of silken material. Edged. "A banner?"

"Starkhaven." Sebastian spread it on the table, running his hands over the heraldry and smoothing the red circle. "Here."

Carver put his hands where Sebastian's had been, touching the pattern and following the flowing black shapes with his finger. "It's beautiful."

Sebastian stroked a gloved hand over Carver's forearm. "This is what the bannermen will be holding up when we ride into the city. We are not a conquering force. We are going home. All who fight by my side will be welcome to call it such after our victory."

Carver's skin tingled from his touch. "What resistance will you meet? Your own guards?"

"I'm hoping it won't come to that. That they see reason. I don't want the city to run with more blood but Goran-" Sebastian sighed. "He has allies who are so deeply entrenched that there may be no other way." He turned Carver to face him. "I have lost too much to risk trusting that I can go there unchallenged. I must claim it and keep it."

"Now that you're here... you're not going back to recruiting, are you? No more showing up on farms or watching street fights."

Sebastian paused for a long time. "I hadn't decided... but perhaps I had, and didn't realise it." He folded up the banner again. "You're right."

"Then... how am I useful to you?"

"Carver..."

"I don't want to be given special treatment just because I'm _involved_ with you."

"Carver." Sebastian palmed his shoulders. "You're important to me," Sebastian said, "and to this fight. I didn't give you your skill with a sword. Or the desire to follow me still."

"You paid me."

Sebastian dropped the touch, resigned. "And you bought a better sword."

What Carver was venting seemed to have loosened its grip too. He didn't want to fight Sebastian. Reluctance made him look away but he reached for Sebastian's waist anyway, like a rebellious child who still wanted to be loved. The armour that had looked so good earlier made it hard to get close when he wanted to.

Sebastian leaned in to kiss his cheek. "Why are you trying to convince yourself you don't deserve this?" He said softly. "Do you really care what people think?"

Carver closed his eyes. He did care. If Mother was here... and Garrett... he'd care what they thought most of all.


	18. Chapter 18

Carver knocked on Bethany's door. It was late, and he'd been in his own room waiting for her to finish playing cards with Lady Ingram and Fenris. Sebastian had been keen for Carver to spend another night with him, and that was the plan, but Carver was resisting until he'd spoken to Bethany.

"Hey, Bethy," he said when she opened the door. "Can I come in?"

"Hey, you shaved."

He'd had to do something with his time. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. They'd be on the road again soon.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah." He stood by the door once it was closed. "You okay?"

She nodded then furrowed her brow at him.

Carver swallowed. "You remember when I said that I liked Sebastian?"

Bethany looked surprised, then smiled. "Yes. And that he liked you."

"Yeah." Carver rubbed the nape of his neck. "Uh. We're uh..." _Say it, say it._ "Together."

After a beat, Bethany ran over to him and hugged him, grinning. "Wow!"

Carver gave an embarrassed smile and hugged her back, his heart pounding a little. It was real.

She looked up at him. "You're happy?"

They'd had their moments - mostly Carver's doing as he tried to work things out - but there was no denying that being with Sebastian was the happiest he'd felt, perhaps ever. He nodded.

"You'd better be! Oh, Carver, that's lovely." She hugged him again.

Carver exhaled, letting go of some of the tension he'd been holding. "I don't want it to get in the way of anything."

"You deserve to be happy, Carver. It's been so hard for us and... I'm glad we found them."

"I'm glad I still have you," Carver said, stroking her hair.

"Ha, don't," she said, batting his arm gently, "I'll cry."

"You won't." Carver smiled. "I need to go. But thanks."

Bethany just beamed at him.

 

"Decided to join in the game after all?" Sebastian said from the bed as Carver let himself in.

Carver shook his head and looked over at the inviting sight. Sebastian was shirtless already and... Maker was he naked under there? Carver wanted to find out. Sebastian patted the bed with a smile that said he knew where Carver's thoughts were heading. "So do you have an open invitation to stay here forever?" Carver said, taking his shirt off and trying not to make it look like he was putting on a show for Sebastian.

"I think I might have to arrange one if it means seeing you do that every night."

Carver scoffed. "Bollocks. I can take my shirt off anywhere."

"Please do."

He kicked his boots off and crawled onto the bed, heart thumping as he leaned in to give Sebastian a kiss. Sebastian snapped shut the book he was reading and dropped it onto the bedside table. Carver broke the kiss before he could really get into it and sat back on his heels. Should he start something now, or should he try to sleep? He'd never shared a bed with anyone long enough to know.

"What's on your mind?"

"That this is a really stupid time to be sensible." He leaned in and kissed Sebastian again, this time more ardently. His hand slipped down under the covers and over Sebastian's bare hip. "Nh-" Naked, then.

"Mmmm." Sebastian pushed down the covers and brought Carver onto his lap before getting to work on undressing him completely. Carver wriggled off to get his clothes over the edge of the bed and then Sebastian pulled him down and rolled on top of him, lips moving hungrily over the tattoo on his chest.

Distracting. But not quite enough. "You didn't answer... how long can we stay here?"

Sebastian looked down at him. Maker but he was gorgeous like that, strands of hair starting to come loose and hang down, pupils large in the candlelight. "As long as we need. Does this place make you uncomfortable?"

It was only temporary. They had a war to win. Carver was already uneasy at spending a whole day at leisure. It was too good to be true.

"Carver." Sebastian stroked his face. "Talk to me."

"Yes." He sighed. "I don't mean this. I _like_ being fed and having a roof over my head."

"Is that all?" Sebastian said with a smile, pressing his body against Carver's.

Carver flushed. "Well, I-" His tension broke with a soft laugh. Sebastian knew what he needed. "Uh, I like this too." He stroked up Sebastian's waist. "A lot. I just keep thinking that... maybe I shouldn't be this happy."

"Oh, Carver." Sebastian dipped down and kissed his lips softly. "Why not?"

"Am I really doing enough? I couldn't save my family. I couldn't do anything against the Blight, except run. And this war seems... beyond me."

"You did everything you could. Carver, I couldn't save my family. I couldn't do anything against the assassins, except hunt them down afterwards."

Sebastian hadn't spoken openly to Carver about what happened. It didn't really seem like the moment to ask. He stroked up Sebastian's arms. "And this war?"

Sebastian brushed his thumb along Carver's jaw. "You're going to help me win it."

Carver leaned up and kissed him. It was something he'd known all along, but only now was truly learning. Sebastian was a man of faith.

 

"Fenris, will you come with me to see the troops?" Carver asked the next morning. Rain was pouring against the windows. Sebastian had suggested postponing the visit to the fort until the next day, but Carver needed to get involved.

"If Sebastian doesn't object."

"Where is he, anyway?"

"Bethany wanted to speak to him."

"Oh?"

Fenris just lifted a shoulder.

Carver tried to dispel the thought that it had anything to do with his confession the previous night. "I should invite her too." After all, it wasn't fair for her to be stuck in the estate, especially as he was planning on taking Rebel. They were all going to be a part of this. His military training at Ostagar was coming back. He could think of some of his time there without the memory running with blood. He wanted to be with the other soldiers, getting ready. Sebastian was right. This place did make him uncomfortable.

They had a war to win.

Fenris had a smirk on his face.

"What?"

"Your sister needs no invitation," Fenris said. "We will be fortunate to be caught in her wake."

 

Sebastian put his hood up as they all trudged to the guard post. He'd managed to find cloaks for the rest of them, and arranged for two horses. Carver wasn't a fantastic rider, but he would be able to take Bethany while Fenris rode with Sebastian and Rebel went alongside. "I'll tell them we'll get a carriage instead."

Carver frowned. "What do we need a carriage for?"

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "It's raining."

"Not as hard as it was. We won't have carriages if it rains when we march to Starkhaven. Better get used to it." The world didn't stop just because the sky opened. He'd been raised to work on a farm and do what needed to be done, no matter the weather.

Sebastian sighed. "Very well."

Carver got up onto his horse.

"So you won't be staying in Starkhaven, then?"

A chill went through him. "What?"

"I would hope that living comfortably is something you could also get used to."

Carver scowled and helped Bethany up behind him. He kicked off without waiting. He knew the way.

"Carver!"

"Don't." He needed fresh air. He needed mud, and Rebel running beside him.

"Why are you fighting? Last night, you said you were happy, right?"

He was happy. They were together. Carver felt it hurting as he put distance between them. He slowed the horse as the outskirts of the city gave way to green and soil. Together meant united. He was making a poor show of commitment already.

"Carver..."

He slowed the horse to a walk, waiting now, breathing out his tension. The hood of his cloak had fallen back with the ride and his hair was sopping now. "I'm sorry."

Bethany hugged his waist. "It's not me-"

"What can I say to him? I've said all the right things already. But I haven't followed through." He heard the hooves of the other horse approaching. "But I want to. Bethany, I want to."

"Now's your chance," she said, as Sebastian and Fenris caught up to them.

Carver knew he looked miserable, but he walked his horse closer beside Sebastian's. He took a deep breath. No mumbling. "I'm sorry, Sebastian."

Sebastian leaned over and pulled Carver's hood up to shelter him. "I shouldn't have provoked you. It was very wrong of me."

"No more than I've done. You were frustrated." Carver looked down to where Rebel was trotting ahead through the puddles. "I'm an idiot."

"Come on. Let's talk when we get there." Sebastian galloped ahead and Carver followed, feeling Bethany squeeze him even tighter. His hood fell back again but he didn't care.

 

Carver stroked his horse's damp face in the dry of the stables. It was a lovely brown that butted against Carver's shoulder affectionately. "Hey now. I didn't bring a treat. But they'll take care of you here until you go back." He scrubbed his short nails over the neck. Rebel panted behind him, keeping his distance.

"You really love animals, don't you?" Sebastian said, walking towards him.

Carver blushed. Sebastian reached up to push the wet hair from Carver's forehead. Carver closed his eyes and shifted closer to him. "Yeah, I do." He felt like he was saying something else.

"May I kiss you?"

He looked up. "Of course. You don't have to ask."

Sebastian gave him a soft kiss.

"You're very forgiving," Carver said, voice low.

"I have reason to be."

"I don't want to give you a reason. I mean... I won't complain. I'm done with that. I want to be here, with you. Wherever that is."

Sebastian smiled and stroked his arm. "You can't forget the things that made you. Neither of us can. But whatever it is you want to say, I'm ready to hear you."

Carver leaned in. "I miss my family. I don't want to leave them behind, in a new life."

Sebastian put his arms around him. "Don't you think they'd be happy for you?"

Happy. Like Bethany was. "I don't know. I won't ever know." He was tired of chasing around that thought. "So can I make you happy instead?"

"Aye, that sounds grand."

Carver laughed. Of course it did. "I want to help you win this war. That's why I wanted to come here today. To start that. To start my new life. I want to go home... to Starkhaven."

Sebastian cupped his face and kissed him.


	19. Chapter 19

The grass that formed the training area was kicked and worn to the point of losing any vibrant green it once had. Carver watched Fenris' bare feet on the rough ground as he practised his sword work nearby. Carver had learned basic footwork, but he could really see the elegance in Fenris' movement, knowing it was more precise given the direct contact with the ground. He had never seen anyone so sure of his footing.

He thought it might be worth a try, at least for the experience. He wasn't planning on raiding Starkhaven barefoot.

Carver heard a rustle and panting and turned just as Rebel reached him. He smiled and leaned down to fuss him, watching Bethany walk up to them.

"Care to join us?" Fenris said to her.

"I'd love to, but Sebastian said he'd like to see us."

"You are no messenger."

"Oh, it was my idea. I knew where I'd find you." She grinned and walked back toward the fort interior, leaving them to follow.

 

Sebastian stood at a large table over which a map of Thedas was draped. In one corner, a scroll of paper was held down by a couple of daggers laid flat, which Carver recognised as the ones Sebastian usually carried on him.

"The Margrave and I have agreed a plan of action," he said. "As my closest companions, I thought I'd share it with you before I call the officers in."

Carver went to Sebastian's side while the other two gathered around them.

"The main thing you need to know is what will happen when we reach the palace, since I intend for you to follow me in. I have appointed the protection of the city to the other Captains, but our company will proceed inside the palace proper."

"Assuming we all get that far." Fenris said.

"That is my hope." He sighed. "The people behind my family's murder are called the Harimanns. When I went to confront them in their estate in Kirkwall, it was empty. They must be in Starkhaven, in my _home_ , with only my cousin and his name giving them legitimacy. I cannot trust them not to employ further violence to stop me from challenging their seat. That is why I am gathering this force. I want to make my way into the palace as quickly as possible and quell any resistance they might have instilled in the city guard."

The door opened, and a servant came through. "Your Highness, the Margrave says the officers are ready."

Sebastian nodded. "Thank you. Send them in."

The officers arrived in the room and when they were all clustered around the table, Sebastian began. "I have already discussed this with the Margrave, so I can show this to you now."

Sebastian placed a few counters on the large map.

"I have sent word that all forces should arrive here tomorrow. We will form five companies, and will each host a contingent of soldiers and militia from a different city. They have had limited training before coming here so will form our rear guard to bolster our numbers. We will cross the river and travel here to make camp." He marked a point south of the Minanter river, half way between Ansburg and Starkhaven. "We will be concealed by the terrain while our force gathers and rests. Then we will make our move."

"Orders?" asked one of the Captains.

"Our end mission is to occupy Starkhaven palace, but I want our presence throughout the city. If we cannot sway the guard then we must keep them from fighting. Above all, protect the people of the city. I will lead the charge into the palace and deal with my cousin. He will not fight but has allies who will and I do not know their capacity. Most likely they will be expecting some attack now they know I still live."

Sebastian directed their attention to the scroll map of Starkhaven. He laid out five counters: two in the city, one within the palace perimeter and two inside the palace itself.

He assigned four.

"Why do you have two?" Carver asked.

"Because when we get inside, we will split up. You will lead the secondary arm."

Carver stared at him in disbelief, his face growing hot.

After going through a few more points, Sebastian cleared the table and rolled up the scrolls. "That's all for now." He waited until the officers had filed out before acknowledging Carver's look with his own.

Fenris cleared his throat. "Bethany, there's something I've been meaning to speak to you about."

"Oh?" Bethany said, and Carver caught their looks. "Oh, I see."

Sebastian carried the maps to a side room and Carver followed him in before shutting the door behind him. Sebastian unclasped a long wooden box which looked like where the map was usually kept. He had to know that Carver was there, fists clenched and incredulous, and his silence seemed to be goading Carver to start the conversation.

Carver had no problem speaking his mind, even though his heart was racing. "You can't just dump this on me like that. I know I said that I wouldn't complain, but I can't command your troops. Remember when we talked about special treatment? This is exactly what I was talking about."

"I expected you'd protest. I don't imagine you even know why."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sebastian laced up the map and turned to him, his brow furrowed. "What makes you think I'm fit to lead an army? I've spent the last ten years in a Chantry! When I was your age I was drinking my life away and causing trouble, while you endured a siege and came out the other side with scars to spare. I have never even _seen_ war."

Carver didn't think that made him the right choice, even by default.

Sebastian sighed and lowered his voice again. "Carver. I trust you. I need you. Help me, please. You said you'd-" He paused. "Well, you are allowed to challenge me. As ever."

"How am I ready?"

"If darkspawn were to appear, you'd know what to do."

"Yeah." Carver said drily. "Panic. Run away."

"Would you?" It wasn't entirely true; he didn't think himself capable of leaving Sebastian to fight alone. But he'd done it before, and seen so much loss. Sebastian moved closer. "Is that what this is about, Carver?"

Carver's voice was softer, resigned. "Last time I fought in a large battle, I fled."

"And survived."

"I don't want to run away again."

Sebastian stroked his arms. "Then don't. I'm not asking you to become Captain at your age. Even I know you're not experienced enough."

"Good." Strangely, that comment made Carver feel a lot better.

"You do have courage, and passion. You are fighting for my cause willingly. I do not want to ask anyone else. Let the men look to you, even if just for a few hours." 

He had to be bullshitting. "Is your palace that big?"

Sebastian grinned. "You're ready. Besides, we won't be fighting darkspawn. I hope."

Carver scoffed. "Yeah." He looked at Sebastian and sighed, relenting. The least he could do was listen. "All right. What do you have in mind?"

"You'll have Fenris with you, and Bethany will be with me. I trust your judgement. We'll meet up again in the throne room. If we haven't found them in that sweep, we'll proceed again together."

Carver made himself calm down enough to consider Sebastian's plan. It was a direct assault, assuming it all worked out. How likely was it to succeed? The people who had killed Sebastian's family would want to finish the job. That fear sent a nervous feeling down Carver's chest into his gut. If Fenris was with him, who would be the blade at Sebastian's side, his bodyguard? What if there were Templars and Bethany's help was rendered useless? And where would Rebel go?

Sebastian cupped Carver's face with both hands. "I can see the worry in your face. I do not ask you to accept it blindly, but who else can I trust? I want to believe in our alliances but how can I know they won't turn on me?"

Sebastian's hands were warm, the touch comforting, but more hesitant than they had been recently. Carver clasped his hands over Sebastian's and looked up at him. "Take Fenris and Bethany. You need this to work. You need their skills. I'll have Rebel with me. He knows battle. Not much, but he won't let me down."

"Nor you him. Are you sure about this, Carver? Fenris has-"

"An amazing ability that will better serve you at your side." Carver smiled. "You've convinced me, don't try to change my mind. Tell me how you want me to lead."

Sebastian smiled back, fingers stroking Carver's cheek. "With the integrity and passion you already have. You know what's right. Overpower the enemy with minimal bloodshed. We are reclaiming the city, not sacking it. The Margrave will be sending further aid after a day, to help any wounded and support us should we struggle to take the city, but he cannot leave his own city without guards."

Carver sighed. "Then I need to know the layout of your palace inside out. Tell me everything about your home."

 

The sun was setting and Carver was walking Rebel around the training area. He'd chosen a stick that was longer than his body, and given the mabari's size, it certainly gave Carver a good workout to throw. He might as well be flinging his sword around. Sebastian had promised him a cape to wear Starkhaven's heraldry around his shoulders, so the soldiers assigned to him would recognise and follow. It was a lot of responsibility and attention, and Carver thought again about what Sebastian had said. The Margrave was a veteran leader, and had helped Sebastian both in planning and in logistics. It was not just people he was getting from the other leaders, it was advice. Something Carver had felt unworthy to give. Until now. 

Rebel dashed off and broke Carver from his thoughts.

Bethany was wielding a new staff, practising by herself in a secluded corner. It made sense, since she was a mage. The soldiers here knew there were some mages involved, but she wasn't flaunting it.

"Where'd you get that?" Carver said. He hadn't realised there'd be weapons available to them here, but thinking about it, of course they'd have a quartermaster in a fort like this. Still, he liked the blade he'd bought in Markham.

"Fenris encouraged me to seek one out. Sturdy. I think he wants me to hit people with it."

Carver scoffed. "Well, if it helps you focus..."

She laughed. "Sounds like you want me to hit people with it too."

Rebel nosed at the new staff, making a soft whine. Bethany leaned down to pet him and he wagged his tail again.

"By now, the orders are going to be filtering through the ranks. When I spoke to Sebastian just now, he told me that we're going to be separated."

"I'm with him? I did wonder."

"Yeah. Only for a while, hopefully."

"Well, he wouldn't have taken us this far if he didn't have a good use for us."

"You'll keep him safe, right?"

"Oh, Carver, of course I will. Don't worry." Bethany poked his arm. "You're so sweet."

"Shut up." He grinned. "What about you and Fenris?" He hadn't meant to ask such a direct question, but it was out there now.

"Well... I mean... I like him a lot."

"Does he know? Do you want him to know?"

She looked up. "Are you giving me love advice?"

"No. I just... be happy, okay?"

"Okay. Now go find your boyfriend."

Carver laughed, but she was right. He'd had enough of war and strategy for one day; perhaps Sebastian had too.


	20. Chapter 20

Carver went to the kennels with Rebel, who sniffed around his pen then started rolling around on the ground. There were other dogs, but no mabari, and Carver wasn't sure how well they'd get along. In any case, Rebel was kept separate. If it was up to Carver, he'd have Rebel sleeping at the foot of his and Sebastian's bed, but that might not be compatible for the alone time he had in mind.

Carver crouched down and patted Rebel's flank, smudging some of the soil there. An image flashed through Carver's mind of the mabari at Ostagar, the ones with the war paint. Kaddis, it was called.

"If we ever go back to Ferelden, we'll have to get you some. One day, when the Blight is over." Carver knew it could be years. He also knew it would be a very different place, although he couldn't imagine it yet. All he knew was the smoke and blood he'd left behind, and the stench of the taint in each darkspawn he'd fought.

Rebel made an inquisitive whine.

Carver smiled and patted the mabari again. "You have fun in the dirt. I'm going to bed."

 

Carver took a route around the fort past all the places he thought he might find Sebastian still working. His ultimate destination was his - their - quarters. They'd never been offered anything else; Sebastian had just requested three rooms of any size, although he was given very comfortable quarters. Not quite comparable to Lady Ingram's estate in the city, but still more than Carver expected. 

He stood at the closed door, composing himself a moment. The camp would be no place for intimacy, so it had to be now. It was the last moment they'd have to enjoy themselves. With each other. _Maker, don't say that out loud_. Sebastian had shown he didn't mind awkward, which was lucky for Carver.

Carver entered the first room, which was more like a study, as the bedroom proper was in a second room. Sebastian was at the desk, chin in his hand as he stared down at a letter. Carver was keen to nurture the part of their relationship that had been neglected among all the serious arrangements. Although that wasn't the only thing that had been overlooked.

"You should get out on the practice range," Carver said, causing Sebastian to look up.

"Really. Would you like me to go right now?"

"No. Right now I want you here."

"Do you now?" Sebastian's eyebrow rose at that.

Carver nodded and went around the desk. "Maker, yes." He leaned down and kissed him, one hand on the back of the chair. Sebastian brought a hand to the back of Carver's neck and prolonged the kiss. His hands stroked the hair at the nape of his neck when their lips parted. Carver felt like he was being kept close and didn't mind it at all. "I'm exactly where I want to be."

"Are you truly content?"

Carver thought back to their earlier argument. "Ask me to put on a crown and be your decoy, and I'll do it."

Sebastian grinned, looking pleased. "You would make a very fetching prince."

"And you the stablehand?" Carver let that image sink into his mind for only a moment. "Well, we could get you out of these fancy clothes, for a start." He stroked down the gold trim that adorned Sebastian's tunic, over his collarbone, and kissed him again. Sebastian stood up, kicking the chair back and put his arms around Carver to deepen the kiss. Carver groaned, heat flushing through him. No, he definitely did not want to swap places with him. There was something that thrilled him about Sebastian taking charge, even as part of him rebelled against it. It only increased when they moved to the bedroom, where Carver pushed him to the bed but Sebastian wrestled him onto it, on a mission to discard their clothing as quickly as possible.

It was the most exhilarating thing Carver had ever felt. On his back, his pounding heart seemed to shake the whole bed. It was his favourite view of Sebastian, framed by four posts and candlelight.

"Knees up."

Well, that was direct. "Not even a please?"

"You'll be saying that for both of us soon enough." Carver flushed. There was something infuriatingly teasing about that confidence. Sebastian kissed him, before leaning over and taking a small jar from the nightstand. "I intend to use my fingers. Is that all right?" 

Carver groaned and covered his face with his arm. That he was supposed to explicitly acknowledge such a request was mortifying. "Fine."

Sebastian took hold of Carver's wrist and reappeared in his view. "That shirt you almost tore off me was 'fine'."

Carver took the hint and pulled Sebastian down to him. "Yes, it's all right." He kissed him. "I want you to." They looked into each other's eyes, blurred by proximity but no less intense. Sebastian rubbed the balm on his fingers and applied it between Carver's legs, maintaining eye contact and so searching by touch. Carver did his best to meet the challenge, though his eyes fluttered closed when Sebastian's fingers pushed into him. Carver's lips parted for his exhale and Sebastian kissed him, soft and warm. Carver's hands were not idle, stroking up to Sebastian's shoulders, hanging onto him.

Sebastian moved his attention to Carver's neck as his touch moved deeper. Carver moaned, his knees moving up in delayed compliance with Sebastian's instruction. His skin pulsed warm and he bit his lip, his cock stiffening against Sebastian's arm.

"Ever had this done before?"

"No-" Carver gasped, rocking his hips. Sebastian licked the side of his neck and he groaned. It was amazing just how quickly his body responded to this. Sebastian's fingers moved in and out, sometimes curling, sometimes straight, and Carver lifted his hips, squeezing his eyes shut. "Fuck." Sebastian smiled against his skin and moved down to kiss his chest. Carver made a grunt of protest as he lost the satisfaction of thrusting against Sebastian's arm.

Sebastian shifted his weight, sitting up, and then stroked his free hand down Carver's body.

Carver bit down on his lip again. "Ngh. Please." His toes curled with the need for Sebastian to touch him. 

Sebastian brought his hand to Carver's cock, thumb stroking the underside. "Here?"

"Yes!" Carver cried out, not expecting to be so vocal but _Maker_ if that touch wasn't just what he needed. Sebastian increased the pressure, holding him and stroking him like that, his other hand still pleasuring Carver inside. Carver arched, moaning louder until the pleasure overwhelmed him and he came, spurting clean over himself. Sebastian's fingers slid out of him and Carver breathed hard, his muscles relaxing. Sebastian wiped Carver's chest and neck, a smile gracing his face. Carver panted, eyeing up Sebastian's hard cock. "What about you?"

"I was rather hoping you'd take care of that."

Carver laughed breathlessly. "Come here then. Let's have you." He tugged Sebastian down and pushed him onto his back, effectively pinning him with his body to stroke his cock. Carver gave him a firm grip and Sebastian responded exquisitely, writhing underneath him.

"Carver-"

Carver wanted Sebastian's voice to break with pleasure and it was nowhere near yet. He slowed his hand, admiring his lover in the flickering light. "I..." He wanted words for what he felt. "I want this to last."

Sebastian moaned. "It will. We'll make it work." His breathing was laboured and sweat glittered in his hair like gold.

"Yeah." Carver leaned down on him and kissed him, his strokes picking up the pace again. "Sebastian..."

The heat between them hung in the air and Sebastian put his arms around Carver, encouraging his kisses. Carver bit and sucked Sebastian's lower lip before kissing him deeply again. The moans Sebastian made evoked emotion as well as desire inside Carver. Knowing it was the pleasure he was giving, Carver was more determined to make Sebastian happy. He had to trust his instinct and attention to pick up what Sebastian liked best.

Fortunately, Sebastian seemed to be liking this very much.

"I'm so..."

Carver nuzzled his cheek. "I know. I said I'd take care of you."

Sebastian panted. "You did." He groaned. "Oh..."

Carver put his hand to work thoroughly until Sebastian climaxed with a husky cry that sent a shiver down Carver's spine, an echo of the one that went through Sebastian's body. He rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder and let him come down, watching the rise and fall of his chest with a smile on his face. Once it had slowed, he leaned up on his elbow and looked down at him. "Are you asleep?"

Sebastian squinted one eye open. "Not far off."

Carver stroked his face and then smoothed back his hair. He smiled. "Okay."

Sebastian gave him a warm smile back. "What?"

"Nothing." Carver leaned up and kissed his forehead. Sebastian's arms went around him again. "Wait. Need that cloth."

"Tomorrow."

Carver relented and sank down at his side again, his forearm resting up on the pillow, hand in Sebastian's hair. He soon fell asleep like that, a gentle smile gracing the edge of his lips.

 

After a thorough wash and breakfast, Sebastian led Carver to the armoury.

"It is difficult not to look like a foreign force when we don't have the armour the people are used to seeing. But we will have to make do with what we have."

"I won't need much."

"No. Far be it for me to impede your movement." Sebastian stroked his palms down Carver's arm muscles.

"Oh come _on_." Carver pulled him close by his shirt and kissed him. Thoroughly. "Now. No distractions, remember?"

"Right. Not until our victory." Sebastian smiled fondly at him and pressed their lips together again.

Carver sighed and allowed himself to melt into it for a moment. "Mmm. Armour, then."

"Aye." Sebastian brought Carver the pieces he'd selected. "I thought these would best suit you. I'm sorry; with the quartermaster occupied with outfitting the rest of the troops, I can't really give you the benefit of experience."

Carver waved his hand. "Don't worry. The last armoury I saw was inside a tent. This is better." He felt the weight of Sebastian's responsibility. "You need to be out there. They're probably wondering where you are."

Sebastian sighed and held a chestplate against Carver. "You're right. Here. Hold this." Carver did so and Sebastian buckled it in place. "How does that feel?"

Carver moved his arms. "Good."

"This is what I really want you to have." Sebastian picked up a small bolt of red cloth and unrolled it to reveal Starkhaven's heraldry, though this one lacked the white chalice Carver had seen before. "This is an old banner from a diplomatic visit to Ansburg. The Margrave was kind enough to let me repurpose it." He moved behind Carver and attached it to his shoulders. "You look like the sun," he said softly. "I'd follow you anywhere."

Fenris and Bethany arrived, although Fenris quickly made it clear he had no intention to use any additional armour.

"Will you help Carver and Bethany?" Sebastian said to him. "I have to go."

Fenris nodded. "If you wish it."

"Thank you." He nodded at Carver before heading out.

Carver sighed.

"Are you okay?" Bethany asked, touching an emblem on one of the bracers.

"Yeah. Pass me that." Carver took it from her and fitted it to his arm. He wasn't going to admit the utter yearning he felt to have Sebastian come back to him. "It's just so real. We're back on the road today. Going towards a fight."

Fenris examined the swords on the rack. "It is normal to be nervous. Better to prepare for a fight you know is coming than be attacked in the middle of the night."

Bethany looked around. "Do you think I should take anything?"

"As long as it doesn't affect your magic," Carver said.

"Maybe a mask to hide my face." Bethany laughed nervously. Fenris turned to look at her. "I'll be using it in front of so many people..."

"Hopefully they'll be too busy looking to us," Carver said. "After all, you're just helping the Prince." Carver turned just enough to show off his cape."

"Oooh, that's nice. You look really dashing!"

"You say that now, I have to stand in front of eighty soldiers in a bit. You're not the only one who wants to hide."

 

The journey to the camp was nothing like Carver had expected. For one, the troops assigned to him had not dismissed him for being a fraud. They were actually following him. He was at the front with the other Captains, and the people just kept coming out of the fort. There were more than just soldiers and war horses travelling - there were other horses pulling carts, and cooks with barrels of ingredients and all sorts of people accompanying them. Carver was afraid that such a procession would make them targets, despite everything he had learned about war as a soldier. It was hard to tell what the final numbers were. It was a small army in the end; he doubted there were more than a thousand on the road. He had to remember Sebastian's words. This was not the force of a conquering nation.

Carver also had a new horse. They weren't used to each other yet, and Carver hoped that it would get him to the palace walls the next day, where they were to dismount and enter the palace on foot. It was also tricky with Rebel at his heels, since the horse wasn't used to having a mabari in pursuit. There was nothing he could do but try to control the horse and keep Rebel just ahead where he could see him.

It didn't take him long to find where Sebastian had stopped when they got to the camp, although getting to him was tricky. Sebastian smiled at him, but was busy surrounded with people, and Carver let him be, choosing instead the shade of a tree. Rebel ran a few circles in front of him. How he still had such energy was beyond Carver. Even though he'd been on horseback he was still aching after travelling all day. He drank from his water pouch before crouching down and offering it to Rebel.

"Carver!" Bethany called out to him. He looked up, but couldn't see her straight away, until he saw her waving. She made her way towards him, out of breath. "Any left?"

"Oh, no. Sorry."

"Never mind, I'll get some later. I've actually got something for you."

Carver stood up and leaned against the tree. "You bought something?" He was sorry not to have anything to return the favour.

"I found it in Markham. The day you bought your sword." Bethany smiled, and pulled out a small leather pouch from her pocket. "It's for Rebel really. I kept it for myself for a while, because it was a little piece of home. But I think you should put it on him."

Carver put his hand out. "For Rebel?" He stared at the pattern cut into the leather and realised what it was. "Kaddis? In Markham." It seemed impossible, but there it was, in his hand. "I don't remember them being too fond of Fereldans there."

"I don't think the merchant expected anyone to buy it. Or knew what it was. But I remembered seeing old Barlin selling pouches like that. And it just smelled kind of familiar."

"How have you kept it from him?" Carver said, looking down at the mabari.

Bethany rolled her eyes. "They don't _eat_ it."

"I know that!"

"Fenris was interested. I told him all about it. So that got me to remembering. But you're the only one of us who's seen it applied."

"Yeah." It was still painful to think of Ostagar, but more and more memories came through to him. Things that could be useful now. Many of the kaddis he'd seen on the mabari there had been red, but there were a couple with black or white designs. He smirked. "You're trusting me to draw on a war hound."

"Anyone can do finger painting. Even you. In fact you did, when we were little."

Carver scoffed. "You can't remember anything I can't. Comes with being a twin." They would have stuck their tongues out at each other, but neither of them did. He was proud of their restraint. 

"Just... be careful with him. He's not trained, not really. Not for war. A one-on-one scrap is one thing, but what if someone else tries to attack him, to really hurt him?"

Carver put his hand on her shoulder. "We protect each other. Because we're family." All of them were - Bethany, Rebel, Sebastian and Fenris, they were part of that now - and Carver was ready to prove it in blood.


	21. Chapter 21

Carver woke up with an ache in his neck. He lifted his heavy head and noticed the solid tree at his back. Rebel huffed, and Carver saw Fenris leaning next to him, cradling an empty wooden bowl.

"You are awake."

Carver grunted in response. He tilted his head from side to side, working out the sleepy kink. "Where's Bethany?"

"I think she is making herself quite at home in the tent."

"Right." Carver rubbed his face. "So I take it you haven't been invited to any meetings, either." He hadn't even seen the tent that Sebastian was sharing with them, having unintentionally napped for an hour or two. His stomach growled.

"I suggest you eat now." Fenris pointed over to a group that was lining up for food, if the smoke rising up was any indication.

Carver got up to stretch his legs but also to take a better look at his surroundings. It was remarkable how quickly the camp had transformed while he'd been asleep. On top of the hill to his left were a few scouts keeping their heads low. He could only guess they were surveying the area beyond. At the foot of the hill were several rectangular marquees bearing Ansburg's crest. As he swept his gaze to the right, rows of smaller tents stretched out. Rebel got up and stretched, before going over to nose at Fenris' bowl. Carver called him and then walked over to the line of people waiting to get their ration. There weren't any tables to eat at so most of them stood while some sat cross legged nearby. As Carver approached, the scent of the food went straight to his stomach. Rebel got excited at the smell, wagging his rear and headbutting Carver's legs to urge him closer to the source.

"Shh. Sit." Rebel stood there panting and alert. " _Sit_ ," Carver said more sternly, earning a few looks his way as well as the mabari's obedience.

"Not dining in the Officers' tent, Ser?"

Carver looked at the man blankly until he realised what he was asking. "I'm not walking in the opposite direction of what's in that pot." Maker. It had to be the red cape hanging from his shoulders - although Carver had probably covered it in grass stains, the way he'd sat on it like a blanket. Oh well. It didn't match the image Sebastian wanted him to portray but Carver was willing to live with that. The thick of a military camp was comfortable enough for him, one place where he could claim experience. It was only the red that singled him out.

The smell of smoke trickled into his lungs from the crackling fire. The simple bowl he was handed was full of steaming broth, and he blew to cool it before taking a slurp. Not too salty, and there were enough chunks of meat for him to save Rebel a couple, though he'd have to talk to the cooks later to ensure there were enough scraps to get him fed.

"Ser Hawke, isn't it?"

Carver turned. "Yeah." He recognised the man's face from his brief meeting with the troops earlier.

"Never seen a dog lord with his beast before."

"This is pretty far north for us." Carver sipped from his bowl and tried to work out if the man was hostile or merely curious. 

"Watch out," said a female soldier, "they're both hungry."

Carver smirked. "Damn right." He drained half his bowl and picked out the biggest chunk of meat, dropping it into the air above Rebel. The mabari's jaws made an audible snap as he caught the food eagerly.

The man lifted his hands. "Point taken." There was scattered laughter in the crowd, Carver being one of them. He had originally meant to rejoin Fenris for a while before going to find Sebastian or Bethany, but he was now faced with the option of staying to get to know the people in his small detachment.

"The horse hasn't warmed to Rebel yet. Thinks he's a wolf coming to eat him." Carver casually dropped another morsel. It didn't hit the ground.

"That's the problem with these quick campaigns. No time to get to know anyone."

 

After leaving his bowl to be washed up, Carver returned to Fenris to find he had just started to set off towards the large tents. Carver jogged to catch up with him. "Thanks for the tip."

"It is never wise to pass up the opportunity for a good meal."

"I didn't earn it, though. I could have helped with setting all this up."

"Does Rebel have to earn every meal?"

Carver was too used to pitching in to make that comparison. "No. I just look after him."

"And Sebastian is looking after you. Not everyone here is a labourer. Your part is yet to come."

"And yours."

"Indeed." 

Fenris walked them towards a white marquee tent. It had a plain red cloth pinned next to the entrance and Carver guessed that in any other situation they would have used the one he was now wearing. Only Sebastian hadn't given him any instruction since arriving, and he didn't know if he should take it off. Inside the tent, there were two distinct areas. One with bedrolls and cushions - enough for four people, Carver noted - and the other that appeared to be for storing their belongings, since Bethany and Fenris' weapons were already there, plus a few other items provided for them for washing and sitting. Seemed a lot for one night, but Carver appreciated it. A lot of people would have to come back this way.

Carver looked around. "You said Bethany was here?" Rebel sniffed the new smells of the tent but did not move from Carver's side.

"I am," she said from behind Carver. "I wasn't far. I saw you come in. Hello Rebel!" She petted him before looking up at Carver. "I think I'll turn in soon, though. You missed dinner. Where were you both?"

"You ate with Sebastian?"

Bethany laughed. "Where else? We had chairs and everything."

"I bet they'll make good firewood later."

"Oh, shut up."

Fenris chuckled softly to himself. Carver put his sword next to Fenris'. The only weapon missing was Sebastian's, and Carver didn't know how long he'd be busy. He'd been given his orders for the next day, and all he had to do was follow them. Going to him now would probably be a bother, but he'd only just had a nap, and wasn't tired yet. Longing for a thorough arm stretch, Carver unbuckled his armour. He'd sleep better without it, too.

"Well, I'll just-" Bethany blushed a little as she and Fenris stood in the middle of the sleeping area. Fenris looked at her for a moment before excusing himself out of the tent.

Carver couldn't fault any of Fenris' behaviour towards Bethany. She had been so supportive of his relationship with Sebastian, maybe he should have gone to see him after all and given them some privacy. It was easy to forget how fortunate he had been with Sebastian in that regard lately. When Bethany went to bed, Rebel rested by her for a while, and Carver only had a moment to himself before Fenris returned. He nodded at Carver and then removed his own armour, leaving it nearby. The simple outfit underneath looked comfortable enough to sleep in, and he chose the bedroll one from Bethany. He didn't have much choice since Rebel took up the one next to her. It dawned on Carver that he and Sebastian would either be separated, or have to share. He knew which one he preferred.

 

Carver had cleaned his gear as best he could when Sebastian peeked into the tent. He gave Carver a smile and backed out again, and Carver dropped his chestplate to follow him. "Stay," he said to Rebel. Outside, the sun had set but the sky had not lost all its brightness.

"Come with me," Sebastian said, starting up the hill towards the last of the light.

Carver jogged up beside him and was caught unawares by Sebastian's hand taking his. "Your people will see."

Sebastian scoffed. "Our people will get paid regardless." They reached the highest point of the hill and there, only a few miles away, was a large city surrounded by woods and fields. The river disappeared into the valley behind it, but Carver could not see much more detail in the fading light.

"'Though all before me is shadow, let the Maker be my light.'" Sebastian's voice was soft and his hand tightened in Carver's. Carver squeezed back and stood with Sebastian as they looked on at Starkhaven. Sebastian's home. Carver's hope. "Do you see the palace in the centre?" Sebastian asked.

Carver could see many large buildings, but he tried to make out what he could from the memory of the map. "I'll see it soon enough."

Sebastian turned to him, still clutching his hand. "And then..." There was a waver in his voice that Carver was not used to hearing.

"And then you'll be home."

"I have not seen it for ten years."

Carver pulled Sebastian into an embrace, pressing against his armour. "Big day, then."

Sebastian laughed. "Yes, you could say that." The set of his shoulders softened in Carver's hold.

"You need rest. There's nothing more you can do tonight."

"It will be hard to sleep."

"I'll be there."

"So will Fenris and Bethany," Sebastian said.

"And Rebel. Maker help anyone who tries to disturb our tent."

Sebastian pulled back and smiled. "We are rather formidable, aren't we?"

Carver looked up and studied his face as stars began to appear in the darkening sky. "I like the way you talk about us. Like you've already accepted us."

Sebastian's smile turned warm. "Of course I have."

Carver felt like he was already home. Starkhaven was only their destination. Yet he knew Ferelden, knew its soil, like he couldn't imagine knowing any other. A city like the one he saw couldn't give him back what he had lost. So for now, he had Sebastian's arms, and let the rest be what it would. "Come on." Carver tugged him back down towards the tent.

He helped Sebastian out of his armour, trying to be quiet about it, and then they went into the sleeping area. They lay down on the nearest bedroll, facing each other. Carver stroked Sebastian's arm and shoulder to try to ease some of the tension there, feeling the muscles that had been toned with archery through the years that Sebastian had been dedicated to the Chantry. Sebastian moved closer to him, nuzzling him in the dark and draping his arm around his waist. "Thank you," he whispered.

Carver put an arm around him and held him close. Sebastian's breathing evened out after a while but Carver stayed awake longer, going over the plan in his head. There was still the sound of a few fires outside, the night breeze on the flaps of the tent, and Rebel's breathing close by.

 

Carver woke up. He had been lulled to sleep by familiar comfort but now everything was silent. No light came through the tent; he was disappointed it was not yet dawn. He rolled away from Sebastian to stretch his shoulder and Rebel huffed in his sleep. Carver wriggled his feet and sighed. The darkness was not his friend when he was restless. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, recalling the direction out of the tent. As soon as he got up to move, Rebel woke up, so he gave him a hushed beckon and held the tent flap open for him.

They walked out into the fresh air. It was not cold, not like Fereldan mornings, but Carver gravitated towards the lone brazier as a source of light. It was only coals now, but it still glowed. The night watch must have kept it going, though they were on the other side of the camp now. A couple of birds pecked at the bits of food that had been left on the ground and Carver waved them away. Morning would come and there would be a rush for food before the march. Carver could save the cooks at least two breakfasts now. He uncovered a barrel and found some dusty vegetables. Not what he had in mind for Rebel. Maybe he'd find some stock bones in a cooking pot. A few cloth parcels were on top of another low crate. The first had diced bread and crumbs probably destined to pad out the soup on its second day; Carver took a few of the largest pieces for himself and ate them while he uncovered another. Rebel panted and drew closer when he found strips of dried meat in the next one.

"There. You want this, boy?" Carver tossed down a couple and Rebel gnawed on them eagerly. Carver took a couple more before wrapping them up carefully. He bit into one, finding it satisfyingly tough. He gave his last to Rebel and then sat down cross-legged on the ground, patting his pockets. He pulled out the pouch of Kaddis paint, his thumb stroking over the pattern cut into the leather. They'd never done this before. It could end up an embarrassing mess. Rebel padded close to him and sniffed his knee. Carver chuckled. "Don't start gnawing on my leg, now. You stay still."

He opened the pouch and tried to peer inside. It looked black, though it might have more colour in the light. He stuck his finger in but the mix inside was a bit dry. He might have to add water, which he hadn't refilled yet. He stroked the paint across Rebel's nose. "Now you look like Garrett." Carver immediately regretted it for the pang that it produced in his chest. Rebel shook himself and the mark faded away like powder. Water it was, then. He reached for a tankards that had been discarded underneath the brazier. Not water, but the swill of ale, from the smell. Here he was, an hour or two from reclaiming Starkhaven for his lover, and he was going to finger paint on his mabari with ale dregs and whatever shit Kaddis was made from.

"Sorry, pup. You're gonna stink." Carver tipped the liquid into the pouch and stirred it. It started to feel like something that was going to stick. He smiled and poked Rebel's chest with his finger, leaving a dot of the dark paint. Rebel didn't seem to mind. Carver couldn't clearly remember the designs on the mabari he had seen at Ostagar, but he wanted to honour them, drawing stripes down Rebel's flanks. Carver was proud of him; he was big and strong and beautiful. He drew an arrow along his back, for Sebastian. Rebel didn't seem to mind, trying to chase his hand and enjoying the attention. "Good boy." Carver scooped out more of the stuff, smearing it over his palm and patting Rebel's head, until the handprints were smudged into a black covering. He looked up at the sky and saw that it had a hint of light about it. It would be time to move soon. Time to put his own armour on.

"You're our protector, okay?" Carver drew a circle around the dot on Rebel's chest, and it seemed to Carver an echo of the heraldry he would also be wearing. He patted the excess paint on Rebel's haunches and then stood up, wiping his hands over himself. He started to walk back towards the tent, as he had time to get his sword and get himself warmed up with some exercises.

He was not half way there before he saw a figure running down the hill towards him. Rebel tensed his body and Carver tried to make out who it was. Rebel started to growl but Carver shushed him down when he saw it was a scout.

"Ser! I need to see the Prince, right away!" He moved towards the tent.

"Hold on, what's-"

"Fire - Starkhaven is burning!"

"What? Wait here." Carver dove into the tent and nearly crashed into Fenris.

"I have woken him." 

Carver went in, finding a bleary Sebastian trying not to stumble as he reached for his bow, and Bethany dishevelled as she threw on her armour before casting a bright spell so they could see more than the little light that came through the tent flap.

"What is happening?"

Carver grabbed his sword and pulled Sebastian out to see the scout whose only words were, "Starkhaven burns, Ser!" before racing back up to his viewpoint. Other soldiers had also emerged from the commotion, but Sebastian and Fenris ran ahead. Carver and Rebel followed with Bethany not far behind. When they got to the crest Sebastian gasped at the sight. A tall column of black smoke rose high above the city, its source a single point: a tower ablaze, flecks of unnatural purple visible even from their distance.

"Is it the palace?" Carver said, breathing hard, his heart hammering. He could not see, could not remember the details of the map. His hand clenched, wanting to take Sebastian's again, to comfort him.

"No. The Circle."

"Mages." Fenris growled.

Bethany drew closer to Carver, a hand over her mouth. Her shoulder brushed Carver's arm as if she was shying away from the accusation.

"What do we do?" Carver said.

Sebastian called out. "Round up the troops! We move now!"


	22. Chapter 22

Sebastian and Carver's forces led the charge towards Starkhaven. Their changing circumstance had altered their plan in haste; one of the Captains was now responsible to dealing with the burning Circle and whatever effect that might have on the city. The smoke was still rising, an ominous beacon towards their fate. Carver clutched the reins with one hand, sword aloft in the other, signalling to his own troops in the horde. Those soldiers on foot or who had not been ready would have to follow with the rear guard. Sebastian's fierce gaze was fixed on his city as he led them towards a grand gateway. Even through the thunder of hooves, Carver heard the sound of screams and battle up ahead as they entered the streets.

People were running and armoured soldiers chased into alleys, weapons drawn. Sebastian's army cut through the chaos without hindrance. Carver tried to take in what was happening. It had to be more than just fire and runaway mages. He spotted the Templar crest and guessed the others were City Guards. Rebel stayed ahead, running fast to keep from being underfoot, although they had slowed once in the city to avoid trampling down any passers by.

Carver's horse whinnied loudly, shaking its head back and almost veering into Fenris. Carver's body jolted and tried to keep control.

"Ser Hawke! To your left!"

A tall, gnarled figure stalked into the street and he brought his sword down in an arc to strike it, knowing it couldn't possibly be human.

"Demons!" Fenris cried.

Carver didn't know if he had killed it as he passed but felt cold at the thought of leaving demons to roam. The other Captains would not reach the city yet. "Sebastian!"

"Press on!" Sebastian shouted. He too had a hand on his bow, but had not drawn it. The standard bearer rode alongside him, though the banner swayed unsteadily in the young man's grip.

The confines of the street slowed them further but they turned a corner and far up ahead Carver made out the grand buildings of the centre, and the one he thought must be the palace. A large square widened their path again, and they split up to move around the ornate central fountain.

A sick roar spewed from a burning building, and the fire spilled onto the ground, barely missing Rebel. Carver's horse reared for good this time, throwing his body back; he grabbed hard on the reins but lost his seat. The horse's body seemed too large and unbalanced as he fell, and he let go in the hope it would not fall back and crush him. He landed hard nonetheless, gasping at the impact. The other riders streamed past, avoiding him and the fire, though his own troops circled back around in Sebastian's wake.

"Carver!" Fenris called to him.

Carver scrambled to his feet and grabbed Fenris' outstretched hand. Fenris pulled him up with plenty of strength and Carver held his sword aloft once more. "Let's move!"

Rebel barked up from the ground near their feet, avoiding the frightened horse. Only then did Carver see that the fire had taken shape, a grotesque figure. Fenris' urged his own horse forward.

"What was that?"

"Another demon," he growled. "one of rage. Abominations."

Carver looked around. Fenris should have stayed with Sebastian and Bethany, and now they were separated. This was nothing like what they'd planned. It would be hard to filter to the front again, but this was it. He had to press on. He had to lead.

Their forces went into the large gardens where Sebastian had told them they were to dismount. Carver looked around but could not see any sign of him or Bethany.

"I will go." Fenris said, hand on his arm. "Fight well."

For one second Carver was left untethered, but then he heard Rebel's bark again. As he was drawn, so were other soldiers he recognised. His own. He found the mabari and turned to the crowd that he could. He stood up straight, bracing his voice and his lungs for the shout.

"Regroup!"

"Yes Ser!" The eager few gave Carver courage. He could not delay.

"We take the north wing now! Demons, Darkspawn, whatever it is, we're ready! Make your homeland proud!"

Ferelden. Ansburg. Starkhaven. They cheered as he pushed through with Rebel. Once inside the palace, Carver led his soldiers right just like Sebastian had instructed. A palace patrol was quickly subdued, and Carver's troops respected the order they had been given not to kill unless necessary. After a few rooms, they found a few servants huddled in fright. Carver ordered two men to stay back to watch them and continued on, through a library and into another hall. They reached a long gallery of paintings, with windows on the right hand side overlooking the north facing garden. Carver was down to about sixty soldiers and he ordered five to stay back and guard their flank as the rest proceeded through the gallery. It stood as if untouched by the murders; the bloodshed had not damaged this area. There were no side doors for them to check, or for demons to make an appearance, only the long, long hall. As Carver passed the portraits of Sebastian's family, he sought the face among them he knew so well.

A roar ahead broke that thought. A rage demon swam into view, blocking the end of the gallery. The fire of its body dragged and scorched the floor as it moved and Carver decided to charge and stop its advance before it did any more damage. He ran towards it, feeling the heat even before he got within striking distance. Taller than Carver, it stretched its arms up, a molten glow slapping to the floor before being absorbed again underneath.

The first strike of Carver's sword hit ash and he jumped back to avoid its counter attack. Rebel growled and leapt at the demon but soon fell back, whimpering. More swords and spears attacked the burning creature, and Carver swung at its flank.

"Surround it!" There was not much room to move, since the demon appeared to be swelling in size with every weapon that pierced it. It recoiled and then burst into flame, throwing them back. It doubled from its original size, its molten core seemingly infinite. It lashed flames at soldiers and they fell back, screaming, to be replaced by their comrades. The demon slammed its arms in an arc into the line that was trying to form around it, knocking some back into the wall and narrowly missing Carver. Rebel barked but backed under a table, staying away from the heat. Carver was building up a sweat from his proximity to the creature, and he could see the same struggle on the faces of his comrades, flushed and contorted in the rage the demon was feeding on.

He needed ice. He needed Bethany.

"Any mages want to show themselves?" He yelled. Now would be a really good time. But no voice came. The demon's fire licked close to the walls, threatening to set them aflame. It was a relentless attack, and Carver could see that their attempts to damage it served to provoke it - and it looked like it was going to explode.

"Stand back!" He bellowed. "Stand well back!" He ducked past to stand fast with his troops, sword pointed at the demon. "Shields, to the front!" A group of men and women made their way through, forming a defensive line across the width of the gallery. The demon raised its arms to strike. "Hold fast!"

The attack landed with a clang and a burst of fire that exploded from the impact, echoed with cries of effort from the soldiers. Carver panted, his sword wavering in the air. Someone's arms were going to get broken if he kept this up, if they weren't already. The demon roared and the next strike fell, sending one person down with a scream. The line threatened to crumble. The heat was unbearable.

 _I'm sorry, Sebastian._ Carver grabbed a heavy, ornate box from one of the sideboards and hurled it at the nearest window, which smashed and created a gap for the air to sweep through. The demon was already in full swing, its arms crashing from side to side, trying to displace the shield wall. But its next bellow was like lungs deflating; it sank back into its previous size, its massive fury spent.

"Attack!" Carver cried. He plunged his own sword into the demon's yawning mouth before pulling around to flank it as his soldiers resumed their attacks. He didn't know if they'd have to endure waves of this, but gradually the demon's energy began to diminish until their combined efforts overcame it. The light within it faded and and it melted down into a blackened puddle, the smoke still hot. But it was done.

Carver wiped his brow, panting, and Rebel neared him cautiously.

"We have wounded, Ser!"

"Three of you stay back. Tend to them." Carver marched forward grimly. He had to do better. This was only one demon of many set loose on Starkhaven. He coughed the heat from his lungs in the next room but he still tasted bitter smoke. 

Apart from the demon, there was something very wrong, very silent about this part of the palace. The servants they'd found in the earlier rooms had not been indicative of the number of people here. There was still no sign of the Harimanns. Carver tried to keep focused, mentally picturing the map and his route. He would converge with Sebastian in the throne room. Maker keep Sebastian safe. After all, the demons were not the real enemy, only an obstacle.


	23. Chapter 23

Carver turned a corner and found the door to the throne room, just as Sebastian had described. Dark wood, adorned with gilded vines. He gave it a hesitant touch, but it was cold. No sign of a rage demon or the fire left in its wake. Time to move. He pushed open the heavy wood and walked out onto dry grass. An outside space. Carver looked around, his bearings lost. Had he led them astray? There was a throne, but this was a field. It looked like-

Just like Lothering.

"Carver!"

A chill went down the back of his neck. That had sounded like Garrett. Carver looked around but saw only Sebastian, standing outside the Hawke stead. His relief was held back by his confusion. "What are you doing here? Where have you brought me?"

Sebastian had his bow raised towards where the throne had been. "Carver! Don't be fooled! Remember where you are!"

This was Lothering. How could he forget? The sky was shifting. Had he fallen asleep in the hay again? He needed to get back inside, but his feet wouldn't move.

"Carver..." sang the voice again.

Carver fought against the sick feeling in his stomach and turned towards the source. Garrett was standing in the middle of the field. His eyes... His eyes were wrong.

"Hello, brother."

His feet wouldn't move but his heart lurched towards the voice. Garrett survived? Tears welled in his eyes.

A weight shoved into Carver's back and threw him stumbling forward. A person he didn't know, a soldier, felled by another in the same armour. There were others here... Carver frowned and shook his head. He tried to focus. Where was Sebastian?

"You wanted me back, didn't you?" Garrett said.

Carver lost sight of Sebastian as his attention went back to his brother.

"It's just like old times."

The old times. They were gone, though. Carver knew that. He felt so heavy, but something made him resist. "N-no."

A flash of magic streaked across the sky, the lightning revealing the ghost of a throne room. "Carver!" Bethany's voice rang out, as if far away. "It's a demon!"

Bethany? Carver closed his eyes but couldn't make sense of things. What was she saying? There were no demons in Ferelden, only darkspawn. Something didn't add up. The muffled crash of swords and screams reached him, making him flinch. There was a fight here... of course. He was running. They were all running. He had to take Bethany and go.

"Fight him!"

Sebastian? The sounds faded once more.

"Caaarver. They're all gone," Garrett said. "Look. You don't have to fight any more. You can come home."

Carver weakened the grip on his sword. No more fighting. That sounded good. As did home. However, another thought intruded. Home wasn't Lothering any more, was it? There was somewhere else.

"Ser Hawke!" Someone grabbed his shoulder and shook it. But nobody called him that, did they? He shrugged them off.

Garrett moved closer across the field.

"Get away from him!" Sebastian cried. An arrow flew past Carver but Garrett was no longer in its path, standing elsewhere as if he hadn't moved at all.

Sebastian. Carver shook his head again, struggling to remember. "S... Starkhaven. I'm in Starkhaven." Garrett was in a field that shouldn't exist, that _didn't_ exist any more. Carver still couldn't see the walls of the room he was supposed to be in, but he remembered a door crowned with golden leaves, and when he thought hard, he knew he'd walked through it to get here. A flash of ice went past and the illusion shifted once again, the sunset glow of the farm becoming a jagged reflection on broken glass.

"Ah, Bethany." Garrett soothed. "I'm just trying to get your brother back. You know, your real brother. The one you wish survived."

It was as if a shard of glass pierced Carver's chest. He stared at where the voice was coming from, but couldn't see anyone. There were shouts behind him, metal striking metal and then someone grabbed his arm. "Carver!" Sebastian cried. "Snap out of it! We need to defeat this creature!" 

He looked up. Sebastian was there. His face, his eyes. Carver focused on him. If he could just concentrate, he'd know what Sebastian was talking about. "The ogre?" The terror that chased him in his nightmares clutched him once again. The darkness... he couldn't lose Garrett again. He tore himself from Sebastian and ran towards the middle of the room, but the field was gone. The one who had worn the face of his brother was a horned creature, its human-like body reeking with dark energy.

It smiled at Carver, shifting into Garrett's appearance. "It's so easy when this works on both of you."

"Both of us?" Carver whispered.

Sebastian blocked Carver's view by putting himself between them. The deep red that framed Starkhaven's heraldry sparked a new set of memories in Carver. Hands stroking fabric. A cape around his shoulders. Kisses by candlelight. Not the Blight, not running, but open arms that felt like coming home. "You'll not hurt them," Sebastian growled. The metal scratch as he drew his daggers signalled he was out of arrows.

"No one here understands your magic like I do. Not with father gone. Come with me."

Bethany. It was targeting Bethany.

Carver gasped, feeling like he'd woken up. His skin stung with cuts he didn't even know he had. He took in a few shaky breaths and found his voice. "Sebastian!"

Sebastian glanced back long enough to meet Carver's gaze. The fear in those eyes shook Carver. How had he not noticed it earlier?

"I'm here. I'm with you. Don't worry." Carver renewed his grip on his sword. That thing had to die. He ran towards the demon but it rose up out of reach with a graceful twirl and laughed. Sebastian used the moment to fetch some of his arrows. The rest of the soldiers were engaged in fighting. Carver had been unable to fulfil his duty to them. He needed to decide where he was needed most. Checking his senses were fully back with him, he backed up a few steps, trying to keep a clear head against any further attempts to skew his reality. Rebel could be trusted to keep out from under his feet.

Rebel.

Where was the mabari?

"Rebel!" he cried, just as the demon sent down a wave of magic towards them. Carver yelled as the pain seeped into his wounds and looked around frantically. No, he couldn't have lost him. Not after everything.

"Carver!" Bethany called to him, sending healing his way, but it faded before it could really help him. She lowered her staff, her eyes glazed over.

Sebastian grabbed Carver's arm. "You have to break its hold on Bethany! We need her magic!"

We need more than her magic, Carver thought, we need _her_. Carver ran to her, feeling torn at leaving Sebastian. Who was he supposed to protect? There was still no sign of Rebel, or Fenris for that matter. Carver had abandoned his troops. And part of him still wished that Garrett was there to decide what to do. His body grew hot, anger at himself and the demon. He needed to put his sword to good use.

No, not just his sword. He had more than that.

"Archers, disengage!" Carver shouted. "Fall back behind Sebastian and fire only at the demon!" Bethany was blinking away the stupor, struggling as he had been. "Bethany. You know it's a demon. You told me. Cast ice and only ice. Slow it down. Weigh it down. Anything. Please."

"Right." Sweat dripped down her brow as she set her stance wide, staff pointed straight at the demon. Her ice was sorely needed for the rage demons, but if they could defeat the illusions first, it would be a more straightforward fight. "Make it count." She let out a freezing blast, its trail falling like snow onto the stone floor.

Arrows whipped through the air and the demon hissed at the focused attacks, unable to evade them completely. It countered with a wave of dark electricity, aimed at the archers, including Sebastian.

"Hold fire!" Carver cried, before pleading at the demon. "Don't hurt him!"

The demon laughed and focused the energy with Sebastian as its single target, but Carver was already running towards the distracted demon. He leapt into the air, thrusting his sword into the demon's midsection and bringing them both crashing down. He had seconds to end this. The demon's eyes burned with its next spell. It wouldn't go down this easy.

"Stay down!" came Fenris' voice, and his sword flew down onto the demon's neck. The viscous purple blood turned to smoke and before long the rest of the body disintegrated. The room dulled, all the glamour fading. Fenris brought his sword up again, his gauntlets elbow-deep in the scarlet of human blood. That definitely wasn't the demon's. Wherever he'd been, it had been violent.

There were still soldiers skirmishing and they quickly put down the lesser demons and guards, but there were too many wounded. Why hadn't Sebastian's forces been able to overwhelm such a small number? Had they all been in a trance too? A bark came from behind Fenris, and Carver's chest flooded with relief at seeing Rebel. He held his arms open and the mabari almost knocked him over.

Fenris smiled. "He must have followed my scent to where I killed Lady Harimann, and brought me back to the throne room." The Harimanns. The ones who summoned the demons and took Sebastian's throne.

"Good boy." Even if it had meant leaving Carver's side. The mabari was smarter than Carver was. "Bethany," Carver said, going to her. "Are you all right?"

"Yes. That was..." She shook her head. Her lips were pale and her hand shook when she gave Rebel an affectionate pat, her touch smearing the kaddis.

"Can you heal Sebastian?" Carver looked over at him worriedly. "I... I got him hurt."

She wiped her hand on her tunic. "You didn't hurt him, Carver. The demon did."

Sebastian staggered to them, his eyes on Carver while Bethany saw to him. "Well done. Though using me as bait was... remarkable."

Carver put his arms around him once Bethany was done. "I'm sorry. It was more interested in gloating than killing you. So drunk on its own power. So I thought I'd use that. Make it think that I was stopping the attack just to protect you."

"Aye. I wouldn't want you to have turned into a pincushion up there."

Carver just let himself breathe into the embrace for a moment, but there was more to do. Sebastian was shaking, even though his voice had seemed so calm. Rebel's whimper brought him out of it. Fenris had his arms around Bethany, who looked ragged and ready to drop. She wasn't the only one. There were a lot of wounded. "Why?" Carver asked. "Why did it go so badly?" He could answer that question himself. "I'm sorry. I... wasn't able to stop this."

"Carver, you helped end it. There was nothing more you could have done against that kind of power. They were fighting each other."

"What?"

Sebastian sighed. "When your troops first came in, mine thought they were attacking. You might not have been able to order them even if you'd broken free of the spell yourself."

Shit.

"Let's see to our soldiers, Carver. The city still needs us." Sebastian clasped Carver's hand in his and brought it to his chest.

"Sebastian," Fenris said. "I need to speak with you."

Sebastian looked him up and down. "Yes? Did everything go well?"

"Lady Harimann is dead." He frowned. "In the room where I found her, there were... bodies. Like those." He pointed to a corner of the throne room. They were no soldiers. Nobles in fine robes, and a servant sprawled next to a platter of fruit long rotten.

Carver couldn't remember noticing them before.

"No." Sebastian dropped Carver's hand from his grasp. "Please, no!" Carver reached for him, but Sebastian pushed him aside to sprint out of the room, his bow clattering to the floor.


	24. Chapter 24

"Ser Hawke!" The soldier's voice stopped Carver from setting off after Sebastian. "What is your command?"

They had secured the throne room; that was all that had been ordered of them. Among the soldiers looking to Carver were Sebastian's own. Carver had no right to leave them with no instruction. If he had spent enough time with his forces he might have assigned a deputy for the moment, but no - that was what Carver was meant to be for Sebastian, his second in command. He couldn't use the excuse that everything happened so fast to ignore that duty.

He had to keep up.

"I want one soldier per five wounded attending to injuries. Same again on guard. Two archers outside every door to this room. You three," Carver did his best to recall the maps, "go left through that servant's access, there's a storage room at the end of the corridor. Bring linens to cover the dead until they can be identified and buried properly."

"Yessir!"

Carver sought out Fenris and Bethany. It was a relief to see her less pallid. "Fenris, are there still unexplored areas upstairs?"

"Yes."

"Take ten of mine." Carver raised a beckoning hand to the group and addressed the first of those to volunteer. "Remember - if we find anyone else, we take them alive."

"And me?" Bethany asked.

"See if you can find out if any spells are still affecting this room, anything that could-" A groan came from outside, the now familiar sound of a shade that sent the hall quiet. "Dammit! The rest of you, get out there and take down any demons that are left! You," Carver grabbed his nearest soldier, "come with me." He needed someone to go back and relay Sebastian's orders if he couldn't bring him back himself. Carver whistled for Rebel and left through the same door Sebastian had, leaving the fighting to the others.

They ran through the main hallway and soon found the palace wasn't as undisturbed as it had seemed on the way in. Bloodstains smeared the walls behind fallen bodies. This was the assassination Sebastian had been fortunate enough to escape. Only now, he had to bear witness to it all the same.

"Come on!" Carver ran through the hall to the reception rooms at the end. His guess was that Sebastian had gone outside through the main entrance. "What's your name, soldier?"

"Evan, sir."

Rebel stopped and growled at a door. Carver held his hand up to stop Evan and listened for the dark gurgling of a demon's presence. Instead, a woman's muffled crying came through. Carver straightened and moved closer, praying to the Maker that it wasn't another desire demon. "I'm coming through!" He paused for a breath and then shoved the door open, letting it swing the rest of the way. In the corner of the room, a noble woman cowered from them. "Who are you?"

"M-my name is Flora. Flora Harimann."

Rebel growled again. Carver took a deep breath. This was the family. The ones that had killed Sebastian's loved ones and taken his home. She was one of them. No wonder Rebel was agitated, if she shared the blood that was currently smeared all over Fenris' arm. She looked so scared.

"We're not going to hurt you, Flora. Evan, you'll have to escort her to the throne room. And stay with her. If Fenris asks, she's there on my order. I need to find Sebastian."

"Yes sir!"

Flora's eyes went wide. "Sebastian? He's here?" She leaned forward, but huddled back again when Rebel gave her a warning growl.

"Shhh, Rebel. Down." Every moment he spent here was taking Sebastian further out of reach. "Yes. Go with Evan. That's all I can say for now." Carver headed out before he could be asked any more questions. "Come on, Rebel."

It wasn't far to the main entrance. The outside air was fresh but still carried a hint of smoke; Carver looked up and could see the dark plumes still trailing in the morning sky. The horses were scattered and restless in the gardens, and the sound of battle cries still echoed in the distance.

"Sebastian!" Carver jogged out into the gardens, trying not to startle the horses. "Maker, where are you?" 

Rebel barked as a shade rose up through the ground, its unnatural ascent marring the grass. The mabari charged at the amorphous demon, and his jaws snapped over an arm that was taking shape. Carver followed into the attack, wishing he'd been able to keep Evan with him, though by the end of it Rebel looked like he could have taken it down all alone. He was like a different animal when he was fierce like this, ripping the darkness down. The demon soon dissolved into nothingness against their attack.

"Hey, boy. You doing okay?" Rebel responded by giving Carver a little whine, the aggression fading a little. It was hard for Carver to tell how long they'd been fighting given the warped dream he'd been subjected to. At most, it could only have been an hour or two. It couldn't have been easy being on high alert for all that time, so it was just as much about Carver giving the mabari some reassurance. "Help me find him?"

Rebel wagged his stubby tail.

Carver tried to crush the hint of panic rising. Flora was an unknown threat. He was out of his depth. Out there in the city, it was the same. Who knew what the Templars and mages were doing with the Circle in flames. He had to remember they were not his problem right now. One thing at a time.

"Sebastian!" He called again. Carver hadn't paid that much attention to the plans of the gardens. He only remembered Sebastian telling him about one he used to spend time in as a child, but where was it? It was the only lead he had, until Rebel gave him a better one. He followed the line of the trampled flower beds around to some tall rose arches. They gave off a soft scent as he passed underneath and he felt a strange sorrow for something beautiful to have survived the horrors in this place. He hurried past marble fountains with leaves caught in their still waters, as if frozen in time since the attack.

After sidetracking in paths that led to the same secluded loveseat, Carver came to a dead end. Rebel gave the area a good sniff around. Carver's armour was weighing on him even though this battle had been nothing like the long night at Ostagar. It was a different weight, one he shouldered for Sebastian. He beckoned Rebel away but the mabari was far too interested in investigating a small tree. Carver pushed aside the branches and saw that there was a gap behind it that led between two hedges. Rebel ran ahead and Carver could not ignore the feeling that this was the way he was meant to go. He followed at a sprint and when Rebel barked and disappeared from view, he held his breath for a moment as he turned the same corner.

Sebastian was on his knees, arms resting against a tree stump, head down. Rebel bounded by his side, and Carver almost barrelled into the both of them, stopping just shy of them as he dropped to his knees behind Sebastian and put an arm around him. "Sebastian... Maker, are you all right?"

Sebastian shook his head, his voice thick with agony. "I failed... I failed..."

"What? No... no." Carver leaned to the side to get a better look at him. A bruise was becoming apparent on the side of his face, and the calm expression he had worn even in the most difficult moments was broken in a pained grimace. New tears rolled over those that had been smeared over dirty skin. "Do you need a potion?"

Sebastian shook his head again. "The worst was... already-" He took in a breath and it came out as a sob.

Carver reached a shaking hand to brush back Sebastian's hair. This was not the look of victory. "Why? Why do you think you failed?"

"I knew they were gone. I knew what I had to do..."

"And you did it. You avenged them. And you stopped the ones responsible."

Sebastian bowed his head.

Carver leaned in closer, his voice soft. "And the fight has gone out of you now it's over?"

"Is there anything left to fight for?" Sebastian said quietly. "I vowed to retake the palace, but it is no longer my home. It's a grave. That is all I have claimed. I... cannot see the Maker's path."

To have Sebastian's faith fall away made Carver feel like he'd lost a tailwind. It took a moment to get his bearings and realise he could be the one to move them forward. Carver understood how being alive could still feel like defeat, and how the end of a battle was only the start of a long journey. "It's okay, Sebastian. We'll work it out. Let's just take one step at a time. There are still demons to clear out, and we'll be getting reports from the other captains soon about the city."

A sigh heaved in Sebastian's chest and he lifted his gaze to his surroundings. "I'm sorry, Carver. This is not how my rule was meant to begin."

"I don't care about your-" Carver stopped himself. No, that wasn't what he meant. "I don't think you have to be a perfect ruler to be a worthy one. And anyway," Carver took Sebastian's hand, "I'll follow you, even if you decide you don't want to be Prince now that the demon is gone."

"I cannot forsake my duty. I do not want to. I just... I had a moment of weakness." Sebastian looked up. "But thank you for your words."

"They're not just words, love. I'm not giving a bloody sermon." He squeezed his hand. "If you need a moment then take one. Maker knows I've given you enough trouble. Let me be here for you this time."

Sebastian closed his eyes and leaned into Carver's arms. Their armour impeded a real embrace, but Carver could feel the weight against him if not the warmth. Rebel rested his head on Carver's thigh, ears still alert to every leaf on the breeze. One moment, that was all they needed. With that thought, Carver could withstand the worry that they should be rushing back to rejoin the fight.

"Carver..."

"Yeah."

"Truly, thank you." Sebastian turned so that he could kiss Carver. There, that was the warmth. Carver sank into it. There was as much bliss as there was relief, and when it was over they stayed close for a few more heartbeats.

"All right. It's time." Carver stood and helped Sebastian to his feet, while Rebel jumped excitedly, ready to go. "What happened to your face?"

"A pride demon we fought on the way in. If only Lady Harimann hadn't sacrificed her own children to power her greed..."

Carver clutched his hand. "We found a noble named Flora - do you know her?"

Sebastian's eyes widened. "Flora's alive?"

"Yeah." Carver squeezed Sebastian's hand, hoping he'd done the right thing. "She should be in the throne room by now, with everyone else."

"Starkhaven owes you a great debt."

Carver smiled. "The only thing you owe me is another kiss when this is all over. Now, let's go back."


End file.
